the art of childhood

Distracted by my new project

2010-07-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been so busy, so wonderful, so summer. We are loving the freedom that summer brings.So I haven't blogged much...here anyway.

I have started a little project that is just about being fun...just about me.

keepitcomplicated.me

I hope you'll stop by. I'll hope you'll leave a comment...maybe even subscribe?

It's Summer Baby

2010-06-12T15:07:00.000-07:00

Yes it is! Which essentially means that we hibernate mid-day and that I have a hard time keeping track of what day it is. We also stay up way too late, sleep in, smell like sunscreen and nap. And we wear sandals everyday... that might be significant if I didn't wear them everyday...even in January.

My blogging hiatus is to be blamed on my lack of schedule and new job...not on the lack of adventures.

Big moments have been Kaya turning three.

Kaya's big birthday wishes were for princess plates and Mr. Steve to sing her favorite song. Hoping she always be this easy to please...

But everyday has been an adventure. Yep, I started a new job. Date night with a great new dress. A few trips to the pool. A couple days away with Danielle in Houston. Family movie night under the stars. And tomorrow-Alaina turns nine!

Next week I will spend my days and nights at the hottest place on earth. Preteen Camp...With my daughter, who in less then 12 hours will be a preteen. As I type that I am overwhelmed with how that is 16 ways weird and wonderful at the same time. Right now I am hyping myself up with promises of coming home thinner and with a tan. Hottest place on earth.

But I know, that I know it's week I won't ever forget. Heat that you can see bouncing off the ground, miles of walking, camp spaghetti, and vinyl mattresses will be things I won't remember.

A week that is completly focused on my daughter experiencing Jesus more and more-that I won't forget. And being the kind of mom that doesn't miss a moment of it- that is the kind I want to be.

Procrastination...and stuff

2010-05-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

Procrastination is something I have developed into an art form. I thought I would take a break from my end of the year CHECKLIST and hop on here. Nothing really to say... just want to do something other then what I am supposed to be doing....pretty much another life motto.

School is over...the rubble remains. Right now there is a tower of stuff in the middle of room waiting to find a new home- much of which I will probably spend most of the summer ~~yelling~~ asking calmly for someone to get off the floor.

I have a plan a and a plan b to get it all home. Plan c involves two a's- abandonment and arson. Wondering if I should just skip right to that...

This room is lonely. The walls are bare. Desks are empty. Silence echoes. I miss the ten little people who usually fill it. Apparently my brain works best when it is too loud to think.

Wishing there was something creative on the CHECKLIST. Short of alternating ink colors- there is nothing. And I am not sure my principal would appreciate rainbow colored paperwork. Sigh.....

I have held out as long as I can...

2010-05-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have spent the whole year complaining. Maybe longer. Probably Longer...

Every Wednesday I have to wear a skirt to work. It's chapel day. To say the church I work for is more traditional then the one my husband works for and we worship at, would be way beyond stating the obvious. These churches don't even exist in the same conversation.

I have spent so much time complaining about having to follow this ~~unjust~~ silly rule to my closest friends, that it has a reputation all of it's own. If it is cold or windy on a Wednesday- I get a text. It has a name, a song, and several months ago I walked into a friends house after work wearing a dress and the very first thing they said to me was " Why are you wearing that?!? It isn't SHD -day?"

So it's time to set the record straight. I like dresses! I like skirts! I don't like being told that I need one to look like a girl. God created me- He knows I am girl. Even in jeans and a t-shirt, I am undeniably a girl! And if it is about modesty, what primary school teacher who sits on the floor and in chairs intended for six years old all day looks modest in a skirt? Maybe Michelle Dugar but not me...

All this to say that I have worn very few dresses the last two years in protest. But then I fell in love with this skirt. And it is hot...the weather not the skirt! I have long legs and it is hard to find shorts that don't make me look like a street walker. (The term my grandmother coined in reference to most of the shorts of my youth.) It's either that or shorts my grandmother would wear herself...and I am just going there yet either.

And everywhere I look there are these adorable dresses...

My boycott is officially over. It might just be the summer of the skirt!

My other kids...

2010-05-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

I don't talk a lot about my class here much. Mostly because I spend all day with them and well... I sometimes like to pretend that my day job is more glamorous then my around-the-clock, till-the day-I- die job- mothering. But it's not- I just get paid to mother here. So yes I spend my day telling kids to pick stuff of the floor, stop running, use their inside voice, get a kleenex and I am an expert at applying band aids. I do the full routine of academics but the mothering doesn't stop for math. I also have earned an honorary degree in mediation. There is not much that can compete with a seven year old girl who has been wronged by her ex-best friend and is completely sure that the world has stopped spinning.

But the days are numbered. We have eight school days left. Four of those are so packed full of end of the year excitement that they won't be recognizable as school. I am looking forward to summer, looking forward to celebrating a great year together. But it is a little bittersweet...

Because they are mine. I spend all day with them. I have seen them grow and transform. I have wiped tears, comforted, prayed with them, laughed till I cried at them and just loved them. I have spent the year looking for ways to surprise them, engage their curiosity, and always....always made sure that they know that a God who loves them-created them to be just who they are.

There is not a day that I don't hear "I love you Mrs. Evans". And to which they know I will respond. " I love you".

In my classroom, right now there are octopuses with colorful legs and fish covered in tissue paper swimming from the ceiling. The walls are covered with huge ocean creatures they have created and murals of corral reefs. Each is its own piece of art completely different then the others, just as the child who created it. And I really should start taking some of this down- it's time. But I want their last moments in this room, in this class to be ones filled with evidence of how creative they are and that they have been cherished & delighted in.

The most annoying thing to be annoyed about...

2010-04-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

For some reason I find this really annoying. Apparently I have some pride issues to work out...

I just commented on a friend's blog only to have that verification box pop up and I can't help but be annoyed by it.

 I find myself talking back- Do you know who I am? 

Do you not notice how often my name appears on this blog? 

I have to fill this out again? 

Seriously.

And then there is facebook. 

Why do I have to send a friend request to someone I communicate with more days then not?

 As much as facebook invades our privacy and sells us out why has it not figured out who I really am friends with? 

You mean they haven't really tapped into my phone and email records? 

Have to finish this before the weekend...

2010-04-30T05:24:00.001-07:00

Quick recap: exciting weekend planned, plans canceled, pity party with guests, dinner out with J & S, lap full of ice water at OTB, and then...

So I run home to change and meet my friend Belinda for a movie. A couple weekends ago Lauren and I spontaneously decided to see a movie. It was one of those what-is-starting-soon-and-seems-sort-of-interesting? scenarios. I am too embarrassed to admit the movie we saw- or walked out of actually. Let me stop here and say that we got phone advice from a person who has since taken the misinformed plea and begged for forgiveness for causing permanent damage to my delicate sensibilities. I have forgiven and am just going to blame it on the fact that we had just eaten dinner at Olive Garden and were all a bit intoxicated on carbs.

Nonetheless, I was a little nervous to see another late night movie I was unfamiliar with but Belinda promised to bring my her baby and figured I could endure anything to cuddle Emma for a couple of hours. We saw The Back Up Plan . It was really cute and funny. Really.

As an aside, as if my whole blog is not just that, having had a homebirth and all that comes with it, I found it outright hillarious!

I got in bed way too late and then refused to get out of bed until I had just enough time to pull my hair back in a pony tail and throw on my favorite jeans. After all, we were headed to a conference entitled So Long Insecurity. Apparently everyone there was sure they would feel their most secure if they were in adorable outfits with freshly done hair and makeup. They were right. After the third person told me how beautiful I looked I figured out they were confusing my laziness for security and just being polite. I might have started to feel a bit insecure. I got to have lunch with Danielle and her mom at a restaurant that holds lots of childhood memories- Snoopy's. The simulcast itself was great...and I have a lot bouncing around in my head and in my heart.

And then opportunity #2 for a pedicure rolled around. I weighed out using my babysitting for a trip to the grocery store without four children or for a pedicure. As relaxing as a pedicure would have been, taking all four kids to the grocery store at 5pm on a Saturday just would have undone all that...even with beautiful feet. I'll skip the monotony of the grocery store but you should know that by 5 pm I had shopped, cleaned the kitchen, and had dinner as ready as could all before church. In that time I also managed a shower and blow dry my hair into something more grown up then a pony tail.

Church was great- for me anyway. J ended up having to work late so he called S to pick him up in exchange for dinner. I rushed home to play susie-homemaker. The guys got home a bit later, finished the ribs on the grill and we sat down to a late dinner.

Usually we try and protect our guests from the gusto of life with four kids but we had planned a family dinner and a family dinner was to be had. One of the things I love most about having four kids is that they are a party in and of themselves! I realize that not everyone loves this. Our friend Steve actually does or he is a really good faker. Throw in everyone around a table, finger lickin' food, and a rousing game of food ABCs and it was nothing less then loud. Fun but not for the faint at heart!

Sunday morning the kids and I stayed home to catch up on rest and hang out. We picked up daddy from RLF- Whataburger in hand and ate lunch on the way to the movies. At one point we hear Kaya singing "It's raining, It's pouring" LOUDLY and look over and she is acting it out with her five bucks f popcorn. Have I ever mentioned how my kids all march to beat of their own drum?

We had just enough time to spread out in our bed and hang out for awhile before it was time for Lifegroup. Lifegroup has turned out to be a sweet spot in our week. We officially met our commitment to meet for a season and I couldn't have been more surprised that everyone wanted to keep meeting. Everyone is a great cook, they always enthusiastically jump in, and I think they are authentically enjoying the connection. People are pushing deeper into their walk with God, challenging each other, and knitting together. Wow! It's amazing to see it actually work...and a blessing to be a part of making it happen!

That was our fabulous weekend...

Surprise, Surprise.....I have a lot to say!

2010-04-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

You should know that my house is a wreck- at least twenty minutes of frantic picking up before really close friends would even be allowed in the door.
You should know that while our small group members are fabulous cooks, I brought takeout last night.

You should know that last night we did just enough laundry that everyone has clean clothes for today.

You should know that my kids had breakfast tacos from Wienerschnitzel for breakfast.

But we had an incredible weekend...full of what matters more- our people.

I had really big plans for this weekend. Our church was hosting a Beth Moore Simulcast and being a devout subscriber to my life motto- keep it complicated- that is exactly what I planned to do. If we had gone away to a conference it would have involved a hotel, dinner out, and maybe some time at the spa. It goes without saying that it would have included staying up way too late talking about everything and possibly a romcom we have seen too many times.

So why should we discriminate simply because this event was taking place in our city? Exactly.

But there was a hiccup. It involved Lauren and her incessant need to be responsible...and she felt terrible and I felt terrible that she felt terrible. And I know we will make it up...

But it also goes without saying that I did spend a good part of Friday forlorn and bereft. That resulted in a passionate discussion with my prince charming where I wondered (maybe out loud) if he was the least sensitive man in the world and he checked his mental calender to see if my emotional-ness (is that a word?) was part of larger female phenomenon (also out loud). For the record...he isn't and it wasn't.

I am getting to the amazing weekend part...I promise.

And while the weekend wasn't exactly what I planned it was lovely none the less. After whining via text to a friend that my hard week just kept getting BETTER and fighting back tears on the phone to two girlfriends, I managed to pull it together. (This is where I realize I should probably stop blaming Jason for Jayden's dramatic tendencies)

Friday night we ended up at Johnny Carrino's for dinner with Steve. It is really difficult to sustain a bad mood with yummy pasta, hot bread, and the antics of 6 4 kids. After dinner, crayons catapulted and table hockey with the heel of bread occupied us while we waited for dessert. And no I am not referring to the kids...

After dinner Jason took the kids home where they all piled in our bed for a movie and I met up with Danielle and her mom who was in town for the Beth Moore event for a pedicure. Unfortunately it was getting late and they couldn't get us all in so we decided to introduce her mom to our late night ritual- Guacamole Live!

We had a little adventure that involved three glasses of ice water and my lap. You should know that when a waitress is coming unusually fast toward you with a tray and she stops abruptly- the drinks will continue on their path. Without being able to remember the scientific term for the experience, it was really cold. And that is what came out of my mouth...

With as much dignity and grace as a person who has had half a gallon of water dumped in their lap, I waded through the ice cubes puddled around my seat and I moved to the other chair. Danielle was so surprised that I just sat there but honestly my thought was if I move quickly my non-sensible shoes and the ice are going to combine for a much greater embarrassment...like me lying in the puddle. I have done enough Zumba to know that I am still not coordinated enough for some things. Apparently this happens a lot because the waiter (not the one with the drinks) assured me I should just be glad it was just water because others are often not so lucky... and their is a policy in place for how they handle this sort of thing!

The weekend had only begun but I better post this before it is so long it takes you an entire weekend to read.....

Regret...

2010-04-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have been living with some regret...okay deep regret.

When we were in Fredricksburg we wandered into a store called Bath Junky. It was the kind of store that made my husband quickly kiss me goodbye and wander to a less scented location. Lauren and I were treated to hand scrub that changed my life and filled us with aspirations of becoming hand models.

As special as the hand scrub was, there was this product that had my name written all over it....in sparkles none the less.

But then I got distracted because Steve was creating scented concoctions out of the nearly hundreds of essential oils. And we smelled everything under the sun, including dirt. Before we knew it we could no longer tell the difference between gardenia and rosemary and Jason was pacing outside the window... so we did the silliest thing ever. We left...without ANYTHING.

And I spent all day convinced that we would get back and I would not have to live without the product. But we shopped and shopped and somehow never made it back to Bath Junky. Until the next day...

When they were closed.

As so every encounter with a lotion since has left me with a sense of loss and longing. You know that sensation of "this is nice but only....". It was the one that got away.

Until Saturday night. When Lauren brought this lovely bottle of happiness to me...

Meet Sparkly Lotion.

I wasted no time and applied it right in the second row of the worship center, thankful I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and that my entire arms could now sparkle.

And it is even better then I have imagined...

My Daughter...

2010-04-15T10:51:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of Alaina. She is almost 9 and we are seeing more and more of her gifts and talents. She is an amazing reader and makes my heart swell when she devours a new book. She loves music... and likes it loud. She is kind and compassionate. She is an amazing help with her siblings.

This thing that I am particularly enamored with at the moment is her interest in photography. She has a really great eye and a curiosity that makes her a great student.

The only problem with this experience is that I am the only subject in our house that will hold still long enough for her to shoot., correct, and shoot again. So that means after years of few pictures of me...we now have hundreds. And I am giving directions in many of them...

And while I am not a huge fan of being on this side of the lens- I am so proud of her work.

(And I promise that skirt is not nearly as short in person!)

Happy Birthday to.....Danielle!

2010-04-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

It's your birthday! And today I am so thankful for your friendship...and especially these things!

You bring out my inner night owl and are always up for a spontaneous adventure. Guacamole live, grocery shopping at 10 pm, or all night sleepovers.
You are my kind of mama! You never do the easiest thing- but instead choose to do what your heart tells you is best. You think it through and advocate for your children. You are relentless for them...
You read my blog everyday and comment just because you know I like it!
You let me dwell, analyze, and obsess. And upon my insistence you dwell, analyze, and obsess with me.
You make me feel beautiful and young...mostly because you just say it a lot.
You pray for me and worship with me.

You say things that are hard when you know I need to hear it.
You let my kids spend the night- and trust me with yours.
You get picnics.
You know sometimes I just need to be extravagant...and you let me...and you love it.
You love zumba (now) too!
I can be shallow and silly with you...without you thinking I am shallow and silly.
You help me use up my words...everyday.
You know who I am on my worst day, my most messiest and you still love me.

Easter picture

2010-04-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

J

2010-04-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Jason is an incredible husband, dad, and friend. He loves us in a way that can be described as nothing less then extravagant. He puts everyone before himself and is quick to pour himself out wherever he is needed.

So we were very proud to celebrate him last weekend,. We were celebrating his birthday and his new position at RLF!

His official title is Central Associate Pastor- which means he belongs to all the Campuses, sort of like Micah. But Micah calls him the IT Pastor... and likes to travel with him because J functions as his bodyguard and videographer.

I love planning a party but had to keep this pretty simple. Since J is usually the one to haul heavy things and hang things up while I stand back and make sure it is just as I had imagined, I was at a bit of a disadvantage. Lucky for me I didn't have to beg Steve (much) to stand in. He hung paper lanterns from the trees and moved heavy stuff. I have no pictures to prove it but you will have to believe me when I say that the lanterns were stunning after dark. And it was just as I had imagined.

On the note of simple, I wanted to surprise J with something he would love. Enter Marble Slab. Did you know they cater? They brought a portable slab, ice cream, mix-ins, and waffle cones. It was effortless for me but completely unexpected!

It was sweet night with our closest friends-our tribe. After most of the party had cleared out, we pulled chairs out under the canopy of the trees, the lanterns glowing brightly above our best friends. I was overwhelmed for a moment with how blessed we are. The night had been full of the people we love the most, the family we have chosen for ourselves. This was a small crowd but these people are the ones we talk to everyday, pray for, and love fiercely. They are our best friends, our prayer warriors, our accountability. They are our confidantes and closest allies. They are the people who know us, who see our hearts. One of the funnest things about this was that they hadn't all met before. And I loved hearing them say "Oh! So you are_______".

I know everyone there knew first hand how loyal, devoted, and selfless J is and they were there out of their love for J. And I love that.....

The rest of spring break

2010-03-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking I am going to get back here with a thoughtful post about all the memories we made over spring break and the moments I don't want to forget. Probably not going to happen- So here are the highlights!

We spent Monday and Tuesday in San Antonio. We stayed in our favorite hotel chain- Drurry Inn. This hotel gets 5 stars from our kids. Free popcorn and soda, egg rolls, chicken wings, and nachos. Lucky Charms and waffles for breakfast. And CABLE! All the Disney channel you can watch!
We had grand plans to go to Sea World on Tuesday and left Kaya with grandma so we could spend some quality time with the big kids (fast scary rides) but we woke up to temps in the low 50's and the kind of spitting rain that makes you miserable.
So we did what our kids love best- shopped and went out to eat.
We went to the Disney Store twice! Most of you know that we consider this a magical, emotional experience. Many of our favorite family moments have happened on Disney Vacations and walking into a Disney store sends waves of emotions over us.
Surely this is true for everyone who loves Disney World? (Once I tried to explain this to a Disney World virgin and he thought it was ridiculous. But his credibility for being emotionally balanced was tainted by the fact that minutes later he exploited my fear of escalators (especially in heels) and gave me a not so gentle shove as were going down.
Lunch was at Rainforest Cafe in celebration of J's birthday!
We shopped, built bears, had ice cream, and dreamed out loud about living in San Antonio. We made our requisite stop at Panda Express on the way home!
Wednesday morning the kids went to their first Zumbatomic class. Yes my obsession has bled over to the children! They were adorable and confirmed the fact that rhythm must not be genetic. Jayden and Elisha can really move and even the instructor mentioned their natural talent.
Thursday we went to zumbatomic and then NOTHING! Sweet, sweet, nothing!
Friday had plans of going to the fabulous pool in a town not far from here- but it was cold and windy. So we took lunch to Daddy at RLF and picnicked in his office and played on the indoor playground.
Date night was awesome! A movie and dinner at our new local- Applebees. We find ourselves there a lot lately because we can get a table right away, its two minutes from our house, and we know almost every server now.

A charmed week-Emma

2010-03-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

Sunday Afternoon

And these photos make my heart long a little...not for a new baby though. These make my heart long to capture more moments...glimpses of His art.

A charmed week...

2010-03-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Spring break was great... I have no idea where the tradition of taking a week off came from but it is a fabulous idea. It was nothing less then charmed! Now in the spirit of being wordy and well....me- Here it is!

Our break officially began at noon last Friday. I wish I could tell you how we spent the afternoon but I am getting closer to thirty everyday and I swear my brain is feeling it. Considering that under the covers is my new favorite place to be, I think it is safe to say that it involved some reading, an attempt at a nap, and much procrastination. The procrastination, that I have down to an art form, is certain because I do remember spending the evening scrambling to pick up Jason from RLF, rushing across town to deliver food to our friends with a new baby, and then feeding my kids before swapping them out with Danielle. I would love to blame the fact that I made dinner for another family as the reason that we ended up at Jason's Deli for dinner. Except all that time under the covers left no time for silly things like cooking. And so I had to pick up dinner for her...and then was so easily talked into meeting the Adams' for dinner.

Friday night was fairly uneventful thanks to a new dvd- Planet 51 and piling the kids into the playroom with promises of pancakes for breakfast in exchange for quiet. I have to say that it was somewhere around 7 am on the first day of Spring Break when I realized that the trade was less then equal. Why did I have the 8 year old boy, the 5 year old boy, and the two year old diva? And who keeps buying this child all these swords and guns? And who promised them a breakfast full of simple carbs? Why was my quietest, most responsible, nurturing, and completely capable and willing to fulfill my role when needed child across town with the second quietest child of the bunch? Not a fair trade- just sayin'! Luckily I was in the early stages of Spring break euphoria and not about to let that sour my mood.

KFC was another story. Everyone finds shoes, we pile in the car, and head toward RLF to drop daddy off at work. I have cut up fruit, and cheese, and was armed with carrot sticks but still in need of a main entree for our picnic. It's a beautiful day and what says picnic more then a bucket of chicken? J has not eaten so we decide a run through KFC drive through together. My husband, as wonderful as he is in all things, is drive-thru handicapped. He will be the first one to admit this. That doesn't ever stop me from thinking that this will be the time that he overcomes his fears and we can just order food through the window. This is not that day. Because I love him...and do enough to make him crazy... we call off the drive-thru concept a few minutes into the fiasco. I think they can smell fear through the little speaker. The third time she makes him repeat the order, I know that I have pushed too far, too soon.

No problem. I will just go in. I leave him the car with the children loaded up on simple carbs and promises of spring break bliss and go in. We are running out of time at this point. Now I could accept some of the blame for this considering that I may have needed to account for the fact that this KFC is en route to the only beach, it is a gorgeous day, and it is the first day of spring break in a spring break town....EXCEPT we are the only people there. And you would think KFC would have taken note of above mentioned scenario and had some things readily available- like chicken and employees!

I am particularly proud that I managed to hold it together despite the fact the D. calls and tells me that she has just woken up...imagine that you... keeper of the quiet children...slept in! I promise that I was not resentful at all of the fact that I... the person on spring break... had been up for four hours. Spring Break Euphoria...

We manage to make it to Cole Park, bucket of roasted chicken included. And it is a fabulous day. Finally...sleeves optional. ~~I won't mention the part here about how I let my two year old get sunburned.~~ I will just delight in the fact that we soaked up the sun and enjoyed $18 worth of popsicles from the ice cream truck. We explored the coastline and Jayden found the largest wild hermit crab we have ever seen. We played read: they played while I soaked up sun till the children were filthy and ready to spend some time under the covers, or at least let me.

Next part 2 of 17....

Picnic- check

2010-03-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

Just One

2010-03-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

Spring is in the air...

2010-03-12T07:41:00.000-08:00

Spring Break kicks off in mere hours...I am giddy with anticipation, GIDDY!

I have plans... plans that involve picnics, movies, a few days in San Antonio, sleeping in, pancakes, celebrating J's birthday, some photography, cleaning, and a whole lot of nothing.

It's going to be awesome...

This week has been awesome. J has transitioned into a new position with RLF (more on that later). Our goddaughter was born this week and she is beautiful. (Hoping to photograph her this weekend now that they are home and getting settled.) We are getting into the time of year at school that I love. I have a room full of readers and writers now and that makes each day a great adventure.Yesterday we kicked off a music enrichment program that will run through the rest of the year. My kids loved it. I am trying hard not to be jealous of how much they love him- seriously I may have been bumped from the list of their favorite people!

And I got my hair done... I am not sure I love it yet. I like the cut...just not sure if it looks good on me. Its sort of messy...she said it is runway hair. I don't know if runway hair works for teaching second grade. I am going to give it a few days...

Bubba

2010-03-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

Our boy is growing. There is little trace of baby left in his face. As a baby and toddler, he had these incredibly kissable cheeks. I miss those cheeks... As a baby he always had a smile on his face. He is growing into a much more serious boy.

He goes to school, sleeps in his own room, and dresses himself now. He goes to Royal Rangers every Wednesday with his grandparents and is on his way to earning badges.

He is a natural athlete and has such a spirit of adventure. He is Kaya's best friend and mortal enemy. He is often her prince but sometimes the foe. Every morning while we get dressed, he climbs into our bed and snuggles her, wakes her up slowly. I love this tenderness-nurture or nature... this is a gift from his Daddy. I hope he never forgets the power of a gentle touch.

It's funny to see these parts of him that are so Jason. When he was a baby people would ask who he looked like and to us he always looked like Elisha. As he grows up it's a weird sense of de ja vu to see so much of Jason in him, not physically but in who he is.

Physical touch is truly his love language. There are very few people I hug, it just doesn't occur to me. The people I do hug- well it's high on their list. I hug them because I know it speaks love to them and it is the way they express it to me, so I want to hug them. But its rare for me. But he hugs, he wrestles, and cuddles. He never needs space...

He packs a bag everyday. You never know what you might need. He gets this from his daddy, who get this from his dad. I can't pick up J's backpack that he takes everywhere. When we travel, J packs twice as much as me.

Elisha loves to be together. He loves dinner at the table and it doesn't get better then when we play a dinnertime game. He loves to pray and hold hands. He is jubilant on family movie night when we pile on the couch and share bowls of popcorn. He tells me ten times a day that he misses me...even when I have only been in the other room.

He is the sweetest boy I have ever loved...

Love Fridays...a ramble

2010-03-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I love Fridays because it's the end of the week and sometimes I love Friday because it's the beginning of the weekend. This week it is both...

This was a full week. J. was away and I missed him terribly, horrendously. And not just because he is useful to have around. Although there were a few times I cried out for his usefulness. Like when I was late for work because I had to drop off the littles at grandma's myself, when a ginormous truck backed into my passenger side door in the mall parking lot, and when we managed to get locked out and everyone who hadn't misplaced their copy of our house key was in Georgia. He thinks I am really independent and I am...but I really need him.

Last night he was making dinner for the kids while I am sitting at the table and we are catching up on his week. He tells me how easy it would have been for him to pick up a Georgia drawl. And I realize that he is talking at about the quarter of the pace we normally talk at. Too late- he may have left the accent behind but he... is ...pausing....between...words... This should be interesting! Because the truth is that I usually talk circles around him and he generally just waits until I tell him it is his turn to say something before attempting to get a word in. Our timing is going to be way off!

And then I kiss him bye and head out the door to catch up with a friend and regain some of the sanity I lost while being the only adult in our house for 4 days.

Honestly we have had about an hour together this week. We are all juggling a lot right now and desperate for summer when the pace of life will change for us. But lately even though our time is short together, it's been really good quality. We are carving out small moments that keep us connected and speak love to each other. We have figured out how to stay connected through the day via text. I have figured out how to say "Go away. I am talking to Daddy" with much love and compassion. He has figured out how to listen to me...even if this is the 17th time we have had the same conversation and I just need to talk it through one more time. And we are figuring out how to navigate landmines like that the house refuses to stay clean and that the children outnumber us and move so quickly that we often lose count.

Some people wonder about the pace of life we are living at. There are some changes we are going to make but they aren't about cutting out the things you might think. Our weekend is full-yes. There is a zumba fundraiser for Ronald McDonald House, a date with my girls, worship at RLFx4, a late dinner with friends, and LifeGroup. All of those things involve relationships, pouring into the people in our circle of influence, and hopefully making an impact on somebody's spiritual journey.

It's busy but it isn't busyness.

A few weeks ago someone said that just because they were busy didn't mean they didn't love me. It took me a while to wrap my mind around that. And it became a barometer.

Because the truth is that being too busy for something doesn't mean you don't love it, it means it's not a priority. And it is a good challenge...I know that people are the most important thing to God. I know He has called us to live in community, to bear each other's burdens, to encourage, to teach and learn from each other. And I don't want those to just be words- I want to do that for my husband, my kids, my friends, my community.

So busy but not busyness.

Stuff and more stuff...

2010-03-02T07:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I taught on patience at Zumba LifeGroup. Then I went through wait-a-burger. And waited...and waited. And then he asked me three times if I wanted ketchup. After I asked for extra ketchup. I don't pretend to have this patience thing down.
We won't even talk about that I worked out for an hour and then ordered chicken strips, fries, and a coke.
J is out of town. I miss him. He misses me. There was no one to wake me up this morning... except an alarm that I didn't realize that I needed to set until 2:45am. Thankful that text messages fly between us and gmail chat keeps us connected through out our day. Everyday.
Attempting to have dinner with a friend tonight. She has four children. I have four children. 4+4= a gagilion when they move quickly and you are so outnumbered. Should be fun!
My eyebrows need waxing- seriously.
Planning a Seder dinner with our LifeGroup. Haven't done this kind of things with grown-ups before, only in children's ministry.
We have no plans for spring break. None. That is insane as I usually plan these things years in advance...well at least months. I want it to be warm and go the beach. That is insanity speaking. It is never warm here for spring break (at least not dry and warm) and people who live here don't do the beach on spring break.
We have a lawn guy now. His name is Steve-lawn guy. He knows the names of the things growing in my yard! He worked magic with lawn tools and there is real potential there! He comes with flowers and promotes marital bliss- not that the yard has ever been a subject of passionate discussion. The kids are attached already and bring him snacks and are including him in their plans for the future.
The sun is finally shining.

Perhaps she knows how cute she is

2010-02-26T12:29:00.000-08:00

Too much...not enough

2010-02-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

i have been thinking about this quote from Captivating a lot this week. 

Every woman I've ever met feels it --- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy.

and it isn't that i don't feel enough (most days)...mostly i have twinges of i am too much. 

there is this blog that i read that i love. i love it because i can see this girl.. she puts her heart out there and writes things i consider deeply personal, views into her heart of hearts. things that could easily be judged and misunderstood. And i love that on her blog. 

it's easy to admire in someone else. it's easy to applaud her level of authenticity, her level of transparency, her commitment to being who she is. it's easy because I can't see the cost.

in my own life while i work at it, crave it, and long for authenticity, i am finding that there is a giant cost. it has me wondering if honesty is the best policy. i refuse to believe it's not the best because not being truthful, even by just withholding things, makes me crazy. i can't seem to leave things unsaid not because I want to rock the boat because I fear land mines that are made from sweeping things under the rug.

so i struggle to navigate that. because it's messy. because it's risky. because it's easy to be misunderstood. because it's easy to be judged- not out of meaness but because we all filter things through our own experiences, perspectives, and even our insecurities.

but i only have two choices. i can be quiet and smile sweetly. i could put every thought and emotion in a box and make sure that it comes out in a way that could offend no one and please everyone.

or my other choice is to be me. it's the person that questions everything, that examines things from every angle. the person that isn't satisfied with easy answers. i can only be the person that God wired to feel things with depth and sincerity. i can only be the person who connects to people and experiences strongly. 

it's really not that I just say whatever I am thinking and let my life be run by emotion. i promise. it's that after i have prayed, searched my heart for my motivation, filtered through what i know about Jesus and the way He loves me, if after I have checked it against my desire to honor my husband- if it is still true, then I express it. (and often in giant run on sentences)

and i am afraid to be misunderstood. i am afraid to be judged less then honorable, inappropriate simply because our culture has conditioned us to be shallow.

And the truth is that sometimes it is too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy for the people in my life. I only hope that they reap enough of the benefits of my intensity that they can lean in when I am all of the above. 

Tickled Pink!

2010-02-20T21:17:00.000-08:00

Had a great day at RLF... amazed at how it feels like home...

In the moment...

2010-02-20T08:52:00.000-08:00

I'm the kind of girl who likes to look forward. So sometimes I really struggle with being in the moment.

My mind is always thinking of the next thing, the next season, the next adventure, pushing relationships to the next level, and dreaming of things that are possible. So I work at being content in the moment. I try and stay present. I want to be the person who relishes in all the joy, hope, and beauty of the moment. All that energy spent on being in the moment occasionally gets twisted into thinking too hard and too long.

And so sometimes there is wisdom in moving on... looking forward...pressing on...anticipating...hoping.

The season between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day has been a hard one. I can't really put into a few words all that has been rattling in my head and in my heart... but a lot of insecurity, impatience, and vulnerability. Not fun stuff but probably necessary if i want to be less like me and more like Him.

But for now, this season I am vowing to look forward. I am looking forward to being tickled pink this afternoon, looking forward to Lifegroup tomorrow night, Zumba with my girls, looking forward to spring break and a chance to hang out with friends we love and miss. I am looking forward to this new family night thing I have bouncing around in my head. I am looking forward to taking some Easter portraits with my new camera after a long hiatus from photographing clients. I am looking forward to the pool and hanging out at the beach till the sun goes down.

I am going to look forward to making the most of the moments I have with those I love being with, instead of worrying about how much time we don't have together. And instead of trying to figure out why someone doesn't want me in their life, I am going to look forward to new friendships that reciprocate the energy I put into them.

It's going to be good...

My Valentine's...

2010-02-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning I woke up to a lot of commotion in the kitchen. Since I had heard some whisperings the night before, I suspected breakfast was being made for me. My sweet girls and only son set about making Mamma breakfast in bed. (Daddy had been at work for a few hours)

In our family, breakfast in bed is the ultimate expression of love...

I didn't expect the spread I was served- three scrambled eggs, toast, whole wheat toaster waffles cut into heart shapes, and a pancake on a stick. No expense was spared. And neither was any dish.... they used approximately 45 dishes!

Sometimes I think I am doing the worst job ever as a mother and that I am ruining them. Moments like this remind me that they are slowly learning to serve and care for others...and that they are capable of making their own breakfast!

Down in my heart...

2010-02-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

"I have told you these things so that your joy will overflow."

John 5:11

So our Zumba Lifegroup is working through the Fruit of the Spirit. This week we are focusing on joy. We searched the scriptures and shared our hearts about what joy is and where it comes from. While joy is not determined by our circumstances, I do think God sometimes uses circumstance to be instruments of His joy. He blesses us with things in our lives that bring us joy and remind us of His love.

Our girls spent time creating a "Joy Journals" and I challenged each of us to be on the look out for joy, to be intentional about focusing on how it manifests in our lives. I am so excited to see what that is going to look like!

I though I would give my Zumba girls a peek at my joy journal and how God is speaking to me this week.

It is possible to enjoy Me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances. In fact, My light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark. That kind of trust is supernatural: a production of My indwelling Spirit. When things seem all wrong, trust Me anyway. I am much less interested in right circumstances that in right responses to whatever comes your way. - Jesus Calling (a paraphrase)JOHN 16:33; PSALM 112:4-7

And because there is not a doubt in my heart that God expresses His love to me through this man I married, this picture brings me joy! J. is being silly and making me laugh- my joy overflowing...

A weekend away- the short

2010-02-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

Our trip to Fredricksburg was long anticipated and much enjoyed.The theme of the weekend was "cozy". We spent most of the weekend piled on the couch a foot from the fireplace watching movies, sitting around really small tables in great restaurants, and trying to stay warm. We wandered around town - in and out of shops with no agenda. We learned a few magic tricks and had amazing chocolate. Lauren and I did a wine tasting, tried out this amazing hand scrub, and smelled a million candles. We saw a great show at Rockbox and that spurred lots of dreaming out loud.

Between us there are 4 ministries, 1 business, 2 churches, 3 LifeGroups we are leading, 5 children, 2 homes, volunteer work, and a million other obligations. This season is a time of scheduling in time together and lately that is an hour or so every couple of weeks. Three days of uninterrupted time together was nothing less then a rare treat.

Going Amish

2010-02-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

When we in Fredricksburg we stopped at an Amish Market. Surprisingly (or not) I bought a book- Amish Peace. I have this sort of fascination with the Amish way of life and secretly I wish life could be that simple.

I know Jason wonders about me when I say crazy things like that. He knows I thrive on chaos, have opinions about nearly everything, and like things to sparkle. He knows that brightly painted toenails, sparkly costume jewelry, and jeans make me very happy. I like to listen to music loud, drive fast, and am attached at the hip to my purple Netbook. He has resolved that I will rarely be wearing sensible shoes and don't know a thing about preserving from my any garden. I have never eaten a meal in silence and have a burning need to talk- a lot. I spend as much time as possible in bed and spend a lot of time with my nose in a book. I have a whole world in my head and find it necessary to blog about things most people never even think about- like the inherently evilness of snuggies. Not sure that would fit well with going Amish.

So what do I admire? I admire an entire lifestyle built around a community of faith. I love the idea that children are not something to worked around but to be worked with. I love that everyone knows their role. I love that Sunday is as much about family, friends, and food as it is about worship & teaching. Worship and teaching aren't overshadowed they are just extended by loving neighbors and serving one another.

I love how relationships are priority. There is no such thing as "too busy" to get together. You will never hear an Amish woman say that she can't get together with a friend or neighbor because she has too much laundry to do. They just do the laundry together (and without the benefit of electricity-crazy!)They shop together, cook together, clean together and worship together. There is no pride in the way of sharing work or possessions because they understand that life lived in isolation is worth far less then life shared.

Obviously I am glad that I don't have to make dinner for our whole congregation this Sunday. But I do crave the kind of relationships where we can just abide, just live life alongside. I am tired of catching up via text. I miss the kind of relationships where I can say "I know it's a Tuesday- but come over and let's make dinner together. Then we will sit on my porch and drink iced tea and watch the sun go down." But I don't have a porch, so we would have to sit on the couch in the climate-controlled-bug-free-living-room.

It is strange because I have this aversion to scheduling in quality time right now and an even stronger one to being scheduled in. And that might seem contradictory. I want quantity. And not because I am not content with a date- that's fun. But I feel like I am missing out on the next level because in an hour together or a night out to dinner I don't get to see experience the kind of mother my friends are or the way they love their husband when it isn't date night. I want to know where everything is in their kitchen and how they fold their towels.

I am not going to convert but I do think there is great advice in this quote:

If you admire our faith, strengthen yours. If you admire our sense of commitment, deepen yours. If you admire our community spirit, build your own. If you admire the simple life, cut back. If you admire deep character and enduring values, live them yourselves. Uncle Amos

Dear February

2010-02-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

Dear February,

I would really appreciate it if you could mention to the sun that while it may have forgotten how, it is supposed to be shining. I am longing for March and might be able to tolerate you more if you could bring some sunshine. I think I may have developed SAD and blame you (along with January and December). I know you are the month of Love and all but I am just not feeling it. Maybe it is because you feel shorted, but you have insisted on filling our schedule with things that keep us busy yet still bored.

Please send March along quickly. I am dreaming of the beach and a tan that comes without the help of Neutrogena. I want to sit in the sun and admire perfectly painted toenails while my kids splash and play. While this jacket was cute in November, I live in a subtropical climate for a reason and I am so done with winter.

Kindest Regards,
Amanda

Just one of those days...

2010-02-07T19:29:00.000-08:00

Our life is filled with many days that are overflowing with joy and contentment. Then there are days like this... Or weekends like this.

My convention was good and professionally fulfilling but I was on my own nearly the whole time. Belinda was unable to come and so I had a huge condo to myself and the quiet was just... too quiet. I had a lot of free time to myself and just wasn't in the mood to do it alone. Then I came home to what now is the new norm and parented solo most of the weekend with Jason working. I missed Zumba Praise and Worship and it just wasn't the same to do it alone on Saturday.We didn't have lifegroup tonight because of superbowl. Then the party we planned to attend was canceled.

It has just been 5 days of disconnect for me and I have spent most of the day on the verge of tears. I hate feeling emotional and weepy. It's silly and immature but I can't seem to shake it.

Zumba LifeGroup

2010-02-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

Today is our Zumba LifeGroup! I think it is pretty evident that I love Zumba but LifeGroup is the cherry on top. You see God has taught me so much about friendship this last couple of years. And it is the desire of my heart to see all women, all families plugged into a group, a tribe.

When I was pregnant with Jayden (When you have been pregnant for an extended period of time you tend to mark your life based on who you were pregnant with- kind of like military families and duty stations!) we were serving at a very different kind of church. Jason was the associate pastor/student pastor and I coordinated the children's ministry. Our salary package included a parsonage on the side of town that the church was located. What that meant was that we left our home church and our families who had always been two minutes away. Our daily life was lived in this church community. And I had no friends. It wasn't that they were mean or unfriendly. I just wasn't one of them. I was viewed as a pastor's wife- and a fiesty one at that. It came with respect, with tenderness, with love, but not friendship. I don't remember anyone ever wanting to get to know me. It was a long two years.

As we moved out of that season God worked through LifeGroups at a new church to knit tight bonds with other couples. He worked through my pregnancy with Elisha and through a terribly-horrific miscarriage to bring me close to other women who I could bare my soul to, who I could call or email and ask them to hold up my arms because I just couldn't do it. He gave me the chance to cradle a sweet family in our arms when they walked through the darkest hours of their life. And those friendships have brought much gut-splitting laughter (and dr. pepper spitting as well)!

I love Zumba. But I love Jesus more and I knew from early on in my Zumba career that He could be glorified through it. I wasn't sure how it would work so I just kept praying, being friendly, introducing myself, and having fun. (All not part of my personality)

My class has been memorizing this verse:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 3:17

It's my Zumba verse. It is the prayer of my heart. It's God promise that the things we love, the things we are passionate about can be used for His Honor. So it's my honor to be allowed to lead a LifeGroup based around Zumba! And I am counting down the hours....

A Cozy Weekend...

2010-01-31T18:33:00.000-08:00

We are home and relaxing! We had a fabulous, beautiful, amazing, incredible, stunning, and fantastic time. 6 restaurants, 18 gagillion shops-including a wine tasting, and a awesome show later we are content and so blessed!

Whisking away...

2010-01-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

In less then 24 hours we are are whisking ourselves away for a romantic weekend. Yes whisking... Of course right now it is hard to imagine being light enough to be whisked anywhere because I am currently buried under at least a weeks worth of laundry. It has to be clean to be packed and with four kids going away to grandma's & two parents going AWAY...well that's a lot of clothes.

Waiting for us is a great little town with a great little cottage. There is a fireplace, hot tub, and three fluffy king size beds. (Only two of which are in bedrooms with doors- the point of a bedroom without a door?) We have reservations for dinner, tickets for a hilarious show, plans to shop, and sleep-in. Games are being packed, romantic movies rented, and beautiful dresses are waiting to be worn.

I am so excited I don't think I will be able to sleep...which will be a fairly useful conundrum considering I have about 8 hours worth of work to do after I put the kids to bed.

Little Black Dress

2010-01-22T14:11:00.000-08:00

Our weekend away is approaching quickly and I was in need of a black dress. Okay... I was in need of something to wear for a romantic dinner and fell in love with a black dress. Actually I fell in love with a stack of black dresses till I took them to the dressing room. You would think someone would invent more flattering lighting for dressing rooms... But one fit fabulously and (as if I wasn't going to buy it anyway) it was on super-duper clearance for $3.39!

So what is a girl to do but text Lauren and tell her the dress code for dinner had just been upgraded to sexy little black dress. She reminded me that she HATES dresses and I reminded her that I dressed like a cat for her birthday so... she bought a black dress. You can thank me later Steve.

And all was well until I saw her dress. Enter insecurity. Suddenly I am convinced that I am going to look like Grimace. Remember him?

I think I am pretty comfortable in my own skin. I don't spend a lot of time comparing myself to other women. After being pregnant or nursing for almost 8 years, I am starting to feel like myself again. I have come to accept that almost 29 is not going to look like 19 when we started the process. It goes unsaid that I would gladly have given up a limb to have each of them. And besides all that I think J is enjoying the benefits that come from me nearing thirty. Or maybe it is the fact that I can shower regularly and we don't have to climb over three kids in our bed to find each other.

All that to say that I have no idea where this sudden insecurity came from. Sure, I do want to look good in the dress. I want my husband to be proud of me. But its more then that. This passage spoke to me this morning.

"Ruth may have been a lovely, strong woman, but it is her unrelenting courage and vulnerability and faith in God that Boaz is drawn to. Esther is the most beautiful woman in the land, but it is her bravery and her cunning, good heart that moves the king to spare her people. This isn't about dresses and makeup...We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that can be felt, a beauty that is true to the core of who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil." Captivating p.17

And it's a struggle for me. Having been a teenager and then a young wife who found a lot her identity in the attention drawn by her appearance, my feelings on physical beauty swing like a pendulum. A long season of being perpetually pregnant and then just fat, made me work at expressing me. My desire became that people would look at me and see my intelligence, creativity, passion, my devotion to my children, and my heart for His kingdom. It was a season of "can you see me"? And while it is good to resemble myself again, I don't ever want to be lost in that.

I love the little black dress. But more then the little black dress, I love that the people who will be with me when I wear it can see me. And that they would love me even if the Grimace thing were true...

They make me smile...

2010-01-20T07:30:00.000-08:00

Conversation overheard.

(To describe this as overheard might be taking giant liberties with the word considering I am pretty sure the volume was at least 108 decibels.)

Bubba- AAAAAACCCCAAAAPPPPEEEELLLA, ACAPELLA, ACAPELLA AAAAAACCCCAAAAPPPPEEEELLLA

Jaydie(hand on hip, eyebrows raised)- eIIIIIIsha you have got to stop saying that word

Bubba- AAAAAACCCCAAAAPPPPEEEELLLA

Jaydie- EEEEEElisha do you know what that word means? (said with a hiss)

Bubba- AAAAAACCCCAAAAPPPPEEEELLLA

Jaydie- That means singing without music

Elisha- ACAPELLA

Moving day...and grand illusions!

2010-01-18T06:50:00.000-08:00

Today is moving day..not for us but for our three long term guests. I. am. estatic. That is putting it mildly!

Of course I have all these grand illusions about how my house is going to be so clean and organized with all this extra space Everything is going to have a place and we will all have an amazing compulsion to make sure things actually find their place. Our house is going to be filled with healthy food again instead of processed-over-priced-package-junk. I am no longer going to yell at my children...ever. And my lesson plans are always going to be done- early! Illusions....but I will try.

Enough of that...on to more exciting things!

2010-01-13T07:23:00.000-08:00

That was a depressing post.

Not that I am all about just being bubbly and perky but I don't want to dwell on THAT. It sucks. While this disease is primarily physical, it has a huge spiritual effect on me. I want to have faith that God can heal this. I do believe that. But I also believe that He may choose not to. I believe that it is possible but not promised! And there are moments where that puts me in a tailspin where I doubt my belief, doubt if my faith runs deep enough to actually be healed. Am I standing in the way of my own healing?

Really am moving on now...Looking forward to some exciting things.

1. A Weekend Away

In fifteen days....not that I am counting.... we are going away for the weekend. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to kid-free time with J, spending the weekend with friends we love, sleeping in, dressing up for dinner, playing games in our pj's, shopping, and sitting in a hot tub under the hill country stars.

2. My mom is moving out

My mom has been living with us for the last six months. She has been there simply out of my desire to honor her. Our house is intentionally small but the addition of three extra people pushed it beyond reason. We can't wait to spread out a bit! The kids will have their play room back. We will be able to walk in our garage. I will be able to use my washer whenever I want. My water bill will go down by half. Our four kids will have TWO closets! There will be no more uncovered leftovers in the fridge. And Jason's favorite- He will be able to walk around in his boxers again! Small freedoms that you miss deeply when you can't be at home at home.

3. Life Group Season

Life group season starts in two weeks and we are leading a group...or two. I am doing my Zumba group but we are also leading a small group for young families. This is the best possible scenario because another couple we love is hosting at their house and there is childcare at the church! So we get to lead a life group without all the headache.

4. A Goddaughter

My sweet friend Belinda is due in March and getting sooooo close. She and her husband have asked us to be Godparents to their sweet baby Emma. She just had a 4-d ultrasound and she is as cute as you can imagine and I can't wait to hold her. Belinda's baby shower is right around the corner and I can't wait to spoil her!

5. Africa

Jason is going to Ghana on a mission trip in April. I knew that he really wanted to go but that he would never come out and ask me to make the sacrifice so that he could. So for Christmas, my gift to him was my blessing, my sacrifice, my commitment to do what it takes to get him there. I wasn't sure that really qualified as a gift. It was my deepest desire for him to have this adventure, to see him pasionate and excited, to see him be stretched by God. It's hard to gift wrap those things. But he got because got a little teary eyed when he read the card....and that made me love him a little more!

The man on the white horse....

2010-01-11T12:24:00.000-08:00

I had a hard weekend. Friday afternoon came and I found myself in a diabetic crisis. There were a couple of hours on Friday and then again on Saturday where my life may have been in danger. We were able to bring it down to a non-life threatening level but I am still not in a healthy range ...yet.

What amazes me about the whole thing is my husband's ability to love and care for me. On Friday afternoon he knew I wasn't feeling well but his expression changed dramatically when I told him I needed him to take me to the pharmacy because I didn't think it was safe for me to drive. Knowing me well enough not to make a fuss, he held it together and laughed at my jokes.

And then he spent all weekend caring for me...and taking care of the kids so that I could rest and focus on getting healthy. I slept over 24 hours, ate really well, and exercised. All at his expense...

And I am so grateful!

A ZUMBA Lifegroup?

2010-01-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

About six months ago Lauren dragged me to Zumba. And I fell in love! Zumba is a high energy workout that includes, dance, sculpting, toning, and cardio into one amazing hour.

You should know that I do not consider myself coordinated, a good dancer or in possession of any rythym. I can trip standing still…and I have. And then there was the issue of it being very sexy. I wasn’t sure as a Christian wife, mother, and teacher that sexy was an adjective I should associate with.

So why am I still at it six months later? I love the time with my girlfriends. I love the chance to emerge from my Christian bubble and interact with people who have entirely different values. I love that for an hour I think about nothing but making my body move in the way I am willing it- no bills, housework, worries, or pressure. I love being in a room full of women of all shapes and sizes and seeing beauty in their movement. Occasionally I still catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and can’t help but notice I look more like Sponge Bob Square Pants then our beautiful, energetic instructor... but what can you do? The "sexy" thing turned out to be less of a concern that I thought! There is nothing like catching your girlfriend’s eye in the mirror and laughing in a way that can only say “You look as silly as I feel!” For a person who takes everything very seriously, this laughter has power in my life.

Zumba promises physical results as well. I have a ton of energy, my blood sugar is in the healthy range, and the arthritis I had in my hip is nearly unfelt. I actually feel good about something I am doing for my body, my temple. The two sizes I have lost from Zumba alone is incredibly motivating!

I have loved getting to know some of the women in our class. While staking out our spots, I catch up on someone’s week, another person’s class, and how one girl’s grandmother is doing after a stroke. I have so often wanted to connect in more meaningful ways but after painstakingly burning 900 calories no one seems in the mood to go out for dessert. And so the idea of a life group was born…

So in two weeks you can come and shake your tail feathers to infectious music, avoid your reflection in the mirror if you like, and have a great time doing something awesome for your health. After we will meet in the next room for a post-workout snack, the chance to meet and connect with other women, and some encouraging time in the Word and prayer.

Tuesday...

2009-12-29T09:58:00.000-08:00

There are so many things I should be doing right now. Laundry, un-decorating, grocery shopping, and getting ahead on my lesson plans are all things that I should probably be spending my day doing. But it is my kind of day when I take a shower and get right back into pajama pants and a tank top.

It's my kind of day when the only thing on my agenda is letting the kids destroy the house because they actually put down the various electronic devices they got for Christmas and are using their imaginations. It's my kind of day because I have a great new book where the author makes me pause with her words and contemplate the beauty of her combinations. It's cold and dreary and that makes this the perfect day for little people to stop briefly in their play to snuggle with mama under a quilt. It's the perfect day to whisper usually silent prayers over them as I delight in our unbusyness . And it is the perfect day to make a double batch of double chocolate brownies...

I'll worry about cleaning, laundry, lesson plans, and healthy food tomorrow.

Our boy is 5

2009-12-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

It's hard to imagine that this baby is 5 ! I imagine that I will never look at him and see anything but these beautiful blue eyes and cheeks that cry out to be kissed.

The Snuggie Boycott

2009-12-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

I am philosophically opposed to Snuggies.

How is that different then just not liking them? It's complicated. I drive my husband crazy because I lose the car in grocery store parking lot, can't ever find my shoes, have no idea where my keys have been for the last month, and honestly can not remember until someone is crying for food that I am the one that is supposed to make dinner every night. It's because I am busy. I have lots to think about- like how snuggies are inherently evil. So really there is no way to describe the complicated process by which I came to dislike snuggies, other then philosophical.

But here are my main reasons:

1. it's uncreative really. it's a blanket with sleeves. a robe you wear backwards. most of us already own these objects. do you really need another cheaply-made version?

2. it's ugly they come in all of two colors and are made from nappy material

3. they lead to divorce according to Pastor Micah my husband needs:

#3 admiration, #2 domestic support, #1 sex There were two more but they were just another version of #1. you should know by now that domestic support is not my strongest gift. and while I do admire him, words are not his love language and actually tend to annoy him. so I do what any smart, savvy woman would do - I distract him. if I can keep his eyes on me, he doesn't seem to notice the laundry, dust, and toys... or at least he doesn't care. it took me like 8 years of marriage to figure out this strategy that just isn't possible tented under a snuggie, disguised as a monk.

So even though it may kill me to let my best friends send a Christmas card with a photo I did not create. I can not lower myself to be involved with the snuggie.

It's cold....really!

2009-12-04T08:22:00.001-08:00

I know most people don't believe that it gets cold here but I think 37 degrees qualifies. 37 degrees is quite inconvenient in a subtropical climate. First off, our kids don't own winter clothes. They have hoodies and wear tights under their skirts on really cold days. Read:in the fifties. Second my class, including two that actually are my own, is scheduled to sing outdoors for 45 minutes for a food drive today. Our usual sub-tropical weather pattern allows for outdoor events in December. For the record... they are predicting snow flurries.

So what is a mother to do when her littles are expected to stand in the blizzardy weather and spread Christmas cheer? She has to join the rest of Corpus Christi on the hunt for scarves, hats, and mittens. First I head to Target. Target has absorbed much of our discretionary and non-discretionary income for a large part of our marriage. It is the perfect store! Where else can you buy toothpaste and lingerie? Is there anywhere else you can buy a cell phone, snacks for the kickball team, and a new vacuum cleaner? Yes, that's what my cart usually looks like... I love that Target is open early enough on Sunday mornings that I may have once or twice bought my kids new outfits for church in a moment of weak desperation. I am well aware that my husband does not keep me around for my amazing laundry competency.

Target did not come through. Well they had scarves and such but they were more then I was willing to pay considering that it won't be this cold again for three years and I can't guarantee that I will still be able to locate these items tomorrow let alone another winter.

At this point I am wondering why J is home where is is warm and there are a gagillion less people frantic that their kids are going to freeze on the way from the car to the classroom. And it occurs to me that the winter clothes that have been limiting my Old Navy options for months, might now be useful! So I head to Old Navy. I leave there without scarves and hats, but not empty handed. I purchase a v-neck sweater for purely therapeutic purposes.

And I am running out of options so I go to Walmart. At Walmart I throw out all frugalness when I come across adorable mickey mouse hat, gloves, and scarves. If I had any willpower at this point, the purple and black design would have been a tipping point anyway. Needless to say, they came home with me and were met with delight!

My classroom steps are icy at this point, and it is expected to get colder before our big performance, I imagine that anything bought for vanity, will be relished for warmth. At least that is how I am justifying it for now!

10 GREAT things about Thanksgiving break

2009-11-30T07:12:00.000-08:00

1. Matt Redman/Casting Crowns

Technically this happened the day before Thanksgiving break but since I had mentally checked out already, I am counting it. It poured- and that is a giant understatement! I have never been so wet and fully dressed. But we just went with it. It was incredibly fun to hang out with J (who was being uncharacteristically calm about the less the ideal circumstances), experience a concert with students who had never been to one before, and an awesome time of worship under the stars.

2. 1st Christmas Party

Yes we attended a Christmas Party before Thanksgiving. For those of you that consider that blasphemous, you can relax because they called it a Holiday Party. Regardless, it was really fun! We hung out with our RLF friends. I know why J likes these people so much- they are really fun and real!

3. Game Nights

I love to play games...Jason humors me in this. Luckily for me, our friends like to play games. So thanksgiving break was full of farkle, dominoes, Settlers of Cattan, and my new favorite game BINGOH!

4. Christmas Movies

We watched at least 5 Christmas movies this week. Some were watched on the couch with the kids and some snuggled in bed with J.

5. Date Night

We were kid-free for two Friday nights in a row. This last one was my favorite! J and I did some Christmas/Birthday shopping, had dinner at one of favorite restaurants- Nikos, did some more shopping and then had dessert with friends.

6. Family Dates

Our kids are jealous of us going out without them. Some people call time out with friends playdates- our kids call them family dates. We had two this week. Burgers and Planet 51 movie and then Pizza & Games another night.

7. Sleeping In

Okay laying in.... our kids don't sleep much past seven and they wake up hungry and loud. But it was sweet to get them food and head back to bed a few mornings and even sweeter that J. could be there for at least one of those days.

8. Papa's birthday

We celebrated Papa's birthday with turkey salad, wings, homemade chocolate pie, and everyone making sure he knew how much we love him.

9. Making Breakfast w/ J

I am confessing that I haven't cooked in weeks. Seriously. It's been a combination of take out, warming up stuff like chicken nuggets, and Jason cooking. I did however manage to make breakfast on Friday morning- pancakes, sausage and bacon with J's help and company. There is something magical about making a big breakfast at home because its something we rarely have time to do. You don't have to worry- I spent $180 bucks at the grocery store yesterday. I have to cook this week! And just to make sure that I got it out of my system- we ordered pizza last night!

10. Christmas Tree

There was a bit of drama deciding if we were going real or pre-lit. It involved a family vote, a poll via text of our friends, and finally buying one and having to return it after assembly. Anyone who has purchased an item requiring assembly knows that they don't go back in the box the way they came out. Besides that our kids had been playing zombie with the box for 45 minutes. Target was just lucky there still was a box. The end result is the most beautiful tree I have ever loved...and I am rather proud that I let the kids put on nearly all the ornaments and only rearranged a handful. They are proud of the very eclectic trees they decorated for their own rooms.

2009-11-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

We've eaten leftovers, packed up the fall decor, and are looking ahead to Christmas. And while Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful, it wasn't without an undeniable sense of gratitude. We have so many blessings and have so very much to praise God for.

I am not sure how I got this far and never really connected to the idea that thankfulness is not an emotion. Yes, you can feel thankful. Sometimes that wells up in warm fuzzy feelings but in my life I think a more authentic thankfulness is expressed...not felt. It is expressed through generosity to the point of sacrifice, it's expressed through serving others, it's expressed through being selfless. And while I am not there yet... I am trying.

But I really wanted to feel more... And that is a strange sentiment for me because I spend a fair amount of time wishing I could feel things less.

I am really struggling with the weight of things in the lives of people I love. I wish I had the ability to turn things off but I seem to be wired to carry burdens for others. Everyday is filled with cancer right now. One of my best friends is living at the Ronald McDonald House right now as her daughter recieves treatment for cancer. Her story is full of hope and healing but it is not without cost and is still very hard. When I hear the struggle in her voice it settles in my heart.

My children's grandfather is dying. He has lived an incredible life filled with many blessing. He knows tht Lord and without a doubt is moving on to better things. But I ache for my kids. I ache for my two year old who I am not sure will remember her papa. It's unimaginble to think that the papa who has carried around a pacifier in his pocket every single day of her life will not be a part of who she is. I can't imagine what life will be like for our grandma who has spent more then fifty years loving him with an incredible servant-heart. It hard to stand under the weight of that right now.

And there is my mom. She has spent the last 6 months in our home recovering from a life long addiction...and she is here simply out of my honor for her. It's living out my faith in a way that is very pressing. To rearrange your life for someone who has spent most of their life making your life difficult, is not easy. Even with much forgivness given, it is a constant reminder of regret that things aren't different. And now she is making choices that make it hard to breath and there is nothing I can do but wait to have to pick up the pieces again.

Alaina's disease is progressing and I feel powerless under it. There are unanswered prayers that I don't understand in the life of people we love fiercely. These are burdens that I carry for the people I talk to, pray for, and love everyday. I could look further and go on...it is just a lot right now.

What I want is to be able to walk in a room and be clueless to what is going on in the lives of those people. I want to be oblivious. I don't want to get the sensation that something is off with someone and feel the air suck out of the room for me. I don't want to try and figure out how I can make it better, how I can pray for them, how I can love them through it.

Feeling emotionally exhausted has left me raw and very sensitive. It just sucks...

I know that this has a purpose. I know that with this comes the ability to love deeper, forgive freely, and engage fully... so I hold on to that.

Keep it Complicated...

2009-11-20T14:19:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite time of year as a teacher...lots of opportunities to live out my life motto, keep it complicated. I can't help it and I am not apologetic about it because I know God wired me that way.

Yesterday was no exception. A few weeks ago our staff started talking about our upcoming Thanksgiving program. Each class has a few minutes to perform and many teachers have done different things over the years- poems, skits, memory verses, human videos, etc. Last year I was the new teacher and everything I did was met with amazement. But I knew I was going to have to go big when someone mentioned that the pre-k class were shoe-ins for the "stars of the show" award. Which by the way- exists solely in the minds of competitive teachers like myself.

So that night at dinner I mentioned to friends my conundrum about needing a fabulous program and my lack of inspiration. The only thing I knew for sure was that I would need choreography, costumes, and a fog machine.

At this point you might be confusing my need to complicate things and competitive nature for pride but it isn't- at least not in the typical sense. What it comes down to is that I am in love with these kids. They are sensitive, smart, creative, and make me laugh everyday. Because most have been raised in Christian school, every thing instinctively comes back to their love and praise for Jesus. So I can't help but want to show them off. I know what a blessing it is to get to spend every day with them and I feel compelled to create opportunities for others to see a tiny glimpse of what I see.

Without inspiration, I asked for help and two incredibly talented, gifted, and creative people saved the day.

Jason spent hours filming, editing, and creating a video for me. If that wasn't enough, he came to school and entertained my kids so that i could manically iron on handprints for matching t-shirts. And then he ran sound, reassured me, and rooted for me. And while J. isn't a fan of my need to complicate things- he gets my need for excellence and he knows why it's so important to me.

My friend Steve wrote an amazing thanksgiving song. I have no idea why he indulged me and was willing to leverage his time and talent- but I am entirely grateful! Despite my anxiety about it coming together, he encouraged me and reminded about what was important. Up until Thursday I wasn't sure if they could pull it off but I was sitting in my room at lunch and I could hear them singing it at the top of their lungs while they played on the playground. It was real and authentic worship...and they loved the song.

And so our program was void of choreography & fog machines but it was incredible. There was a video where the kids shared spontaneously what they were thankful for. It was hilarious and you could see my kids and their hearts. And then they sang the best thanksgiving song ever and while they looked adorable in their matching shirts, their true heart's praise was much louder then the off key & out of sync voices.

Thank you Jason. Thank you Steve.

COTPCS-Thanksgiving 2009 from Jason Evans on Vimeo.

Of mice and cats...

2009-10-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

When Lauren suggested earlier this week that we should dress up for the zumba costume party, I laughed. Actually suggest is putting it mildly, she told me we were going to be a mouse and cat... and then she bought me tights and ears. Because I am not one to miss out on making a production of something meant to be simple, I delved into making us black sparkly tutus. After all women who have had who have had four babies in 7 years should not leave the house in a leotard, and a tutu would provide a little more coverage.

I should mention that when I began to have second thoughts (3rd & 4th thoughts came later) Lauren reminded me that it was her birthday. Ya'll know I am a sucker for birthdays! And it might be fun. Life is too hard to worry about missing out on fun simply because it might not be flattering.

I hadn't had the guts to try on the whole ensemble until an hour before showtime. My daughters adored the outfit...and wanted to spend the night dancing with me. Although Kaya loved the tutu, I hadn't really considered that accessorizing the widest part of your body is not the most fabulous idea. Despite my hesitation I went with it and here is why:

I want my girls to be comfortable in their own skin. I never complain about my imperfections or mourn the loss of my pre-child body in their presence. I want them to be able to see the temple God created for them and find beauty in it. I want them to feel beautiful, no matter what the world says that is supposed to look like.

And the only way I know how to do that is to live it. That's not always easy when your best friend is a size two or something.

I did draw the line at grocery shopping in the thing though....

Life Goes On

2009-10-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

Life has been good...

It's been a couple of busy week with Jason working like crazy, parent- teacher conferences, book fairs, swine flu, sleep overs and lots of fun.

The kids are great! They are doing well and seem to be enjoying school. Kaya is a doll and so in-love with her daddy right now. She does this heart melting thing where she wraps her chubby little fingers around his cheeks and wants to look into his eyes and tell him she loves him. It's well....heart melting.

And for me... Life is full. There are hard days and intense moments of frustration but there is overwhelming joy as well. A couple of weeks ago I went with a friend to Houston. Even though we were facing a very serious doctor's appointment the next day, we vowed to have fun. There is absolutely nothing like laughing till 3 am. I almost spit tea across the table at one point! My adventure was followed by a sleepover for 7 little girls.- lucky for me one of my favorite mamas came too and we spent hours gabbing and playing Yahtzee.

Last week was exhausting. I worked a lot, had a sick child, and was emotionally wrapped up in stuff. I am glad it is over, but mostly glad that God gave me a full tank to work off of. So thankful that I have friends who listen to me when I beat dead horse and over analyze things to death...so thankful that I have accountability that is free from judgment.

Stuff and More Stuff

2009-10-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

I have about 15 drafts waiting to be completed, published... but none of them feel right. So while I don't want to continue ignoring this blog, I can't quite put life into words right now. So bullet blog it is:

Meagan is in the hospital with swine flu. She is on the upside of this flu and might come home tonight.
We are in the precarious and frustrating stage of waiting for our kids to show symptoms so we can begin treatment and but still praying they escape it.
They can't go to school until the incubation period is over and they are well.
I want to go home and be with my sick baby- not the flu but some other virus that requires breathing treatments and snuggling with your mama.
Jason loves his job at RLF and it feels like home now. I am not sure the moment that it became home but we realized a few weeks ago that we were entirely sold out to the vision and am very excited about being part of it.
The Adams' have been to sick-child- hell and back and it has emotionally exhausting to hurt for DeDe. Being that she was stuck half way across the country, and I could do little but pray and worry, I am so very grateful that they escaped from the hopital this morning.
We started a parenting Bible Study in our small group and it is so very strange to be one the oldest most expereinced parents there.
For some reason the mere act of surviving in a house with 6 kids under 13 gives you status.
I am need of a good laugh- the person who keeps me in stitches is not in the laughing mood...and I miss her.
If only I had three wishes, I would make life so much better for the people we love. Only I am out of wishes and God doesn't seem to be listening either.
Its hard to walk through your own personal valley, but even harder to watch someone you love go through their own. Especially when you have already been through the same valley but you can't give them the wisdom and experience you earned. They have to get through it themselves.
I am in zumba withdrawls. Our instructor is on vacation and I can't wait to start again.

Prayers

2009-09-23T05:49:00.001-07:00

This morning our friends are taking their daughter to MD Anderson to begin her treatment for Melanoma. She will have surgery on Thursday. We spent last night praying over her while she slept. While I know she is only five, it is amazing how much smaller they look when they sleep.

So please take a few minutes today and pray for Rachael, and her mom and dad.

Here is a blog her mom has started if you are interested:
http://iloveyoumorethanmost.blogspot.com/

On Jayden...

2009-09-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Jayden is funny, but not in the comedic sense...in the quirky, a bit nutty way. Jayden is intense and passionate. She has opinions about everything and does whatever it is she feels like it. Jayden never needs to permission or approval, she has an intense drive to do thing and she does them.

We are still trying to figure out how to mange such intense feelings and ambition. And I have no patience for it..... because she is just like me. So if you are reading this and know me well, see how well I hold it together despite my intense desire to be the queen of the world and my deep instinct that I know everything should be handled.

But today God spoke to me about Jayden. She is my barometer. She is the child who falls asleep at random places when I have forgotten that children need rest. She is the child who reminds me of every promise I have ever made. She is the child who makes sure sure I understand that they are not the kids, but Jayden, Alaina, Elisha and Kaya... unique people designed differently.

Jayden is not naturally gifted at spelling. Alaina is. Jayden has never had a spelling test prior to this school year. I have never had to help a child of mine with spelling homework. Alaina just knows how to spell things. Last week after a minor panic attack during a pre-test, I promised Jayden I would help her more at home. She very clearly and quickly responed. "No you won't. You'll promise but you never help me".

Uggghhhh! She was right. I intended to help her but this is new to me. And in my defense never equals the last two weeks but still- I never have helped at home enough.

My barometer.

I am blessed to work for a church. This week is camp meeting week. That means preachers come from across the country and do two services a day. I take my class to the morning service. The preacher this morning spoke into my heart about her daughter.

First she talked about destiny. Even though I was a-know-it-all-bossy child, my friends don't seem to mind. I am often called wise and while that seems odd to me, I know it is one of my spiritual gifts. People ask me all the time what to say in a given situation. So I am trying to see Jayden in that light. Her spiritual gift is wisdom. She needs to learn when to give it out and the tone of voice to use- but she is wise. I need to stop telling her to be quiet, listen to the words she is saying, and teach her about tone of voice.

And the second thing she talked about her daughter is how as an adult, her daughter speaks truth to her that no one else will say. God gave her daughter to her to keep her from killing people with her zest and passion...to speak truth into her even when it is hard, when everyone else is tiptoeing around her.

That is Jayden.

A forward worth reading

2009-09-14T12:07:00.001-07:00

I get a lot of junk email but this one actually contained some wisdom...

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to
disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying
alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the
present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea
what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't
be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But
don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or
joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you
stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But
the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is
special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear
purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In
five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your
business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of
anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else's,we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a " gift."

Heavy heart... but hope overflowing

2009-09-12T05:53:00.000-07:00

This is a post I never wanted to write.

A sweet five year old girl that my family loves has cancer. And while I never wanted to write this, still I am thankful for many things. I am thankful that she will not loose her hair during treatment, loose her ability to have a baby, that she will grow old enough to have those babies, and mostly if I am completely honest, that it is not my child.

It is going to be a hard year. Treatment will start in about 10 days. Our kids have already so much compassion towards Rachael. I only hope that grows as our family bends to help hold her family together.

I have spent the last two days trying to process this. Trying to figure out how much room to give Danielle. Trying to figure out how to make life bearable when the hard stuff starts.

As her mama's friend, her best friend, I know that God is going to use this in a mighty way. I can already see how He is going to meet her where her faith ends, and hold her in His arms.

I have got nothing...

2009-09-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have tried about 6 times to blog something worthwhile and well.... I have got nothing! It's raining and it reminds me of this song that I love.

Little Alba- Andrew Peterson

Little Alba how’s the sun in south America
does it shine upon the faces of the poor?
Do they see in it the brilliance of the place that’s been prepared
dwell upon the hope of what’s in store
or are they just like me do they only see an opportunity to complain about the heat

and little alba how’s the rain in South America
does it fall upon the roof tops of the sick
do they thank the lord for coming up with such a great idea
and dream about a place beyond all this
or are they just like us do they gripe and fuss
about the rain and mud when they’ve had too much?

Cause I’m just a little jealous
of the nothing that you have
you’re unfettered by the wealth of
the world that we pretend that’s going to last

well I’m weary of the spoils of my ambition
and I’m shackled by the comfort of my couch
well I wish I had the courage to deny these of my self
and start to store my treasure in the clouds
for this is not my home
I do not belong where the antelope and the buffalo roam

Cause I’m just a little jealous of the nothing that you have
you’re unfettered by the wealth of
the world that we pretend that’s going to last
They say God’s blessed us with plenty
I say you’re blessed with poverty
cause you never stop to wonder
whether earth is just a little better than the land of the free

so I hope you’re safe and dry in South America
cause I’m feeling pretty good in Tennessee
may you never be so happy that you forget about your home
your home in the land of the free

Facebook

2009-09-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

I am really not a fan of Facebook but I went ahead and signed up because its the main mode of communication for my Zumba instructor and now I am getting sucked in.... Every time I open my email there is another friend request.... and they are from people who I see in my real life on a regular basis. So I feel bad for pretending they haven't sent me a request. And they are mounting now... I am going to have to accept them....UGH!

How much is this going to cost us?

2009-09-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

This is day 2 of of our fall fundraiser and I have eaten almost as many as we have sold. I really hope we sell wrapping paper next year. I wish I could tell you how many bars you have to eat before you are sick of the sight of them....but I can't publicly admit how many I devoured and there are like 5 flavors in each box...enough that I should consider an extra day of Zumba for a few weeks. I am sure that my feelings of disgust will pass and they will be calling my name again by 10 am. Where did I leave my self-control?

I surely not going to admit how many I have let my kids eat...

Hyperventilating

2009-09-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

Jayden is sobbing at the moment because she didn't make a 100 on her spelling pre-test. Just sayin'...

Wednesday

2009-09-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

6 things I ~~hate~~ LOVE about Wednesdays
I started this post to wallow in my grumpy mood and decided Wednesdays are better then I thought!

1. Chapel Jumpers- No searching for uniforms, or passionate discussions
about where any article of clothing is. Grandma washes, starches,
irons, and delivers beautiful chapel jumpers ready to wear every Tuesday
night... that makes Wednesday morning a breeze!

2. Library Day- I take my class to the public library and spend 45 minutes
in a enormous room surrounded by books. I don't have to consult my budget
before I decide how many books get to come home with me. And since I am
coming back in 7 days I don't have to worry about forgetting to return the
books!

3. Breakfast Tacos- One the grandmas at school makes homemade tacos and
has them hot and waiting when I get to work. Yum!

4. Missionettes- All 3 big kids go to missionettes with their grandma on
Wednesdays and we get a few hours with just one kid.

5. Grandma makes dinner before missionettes. Evan if she wasn't a
fabulous cook, anything I don't have to cook taste superb.

6. Two days till the weekend!

Mr. Popper's Penguin

2009-09-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

The back story: Mr Popper is sent a penguin from the south pole and his family warmly embraces their new pet. Mr Popper is out taking his penguin for a walk when this scene comes about:

"Suddenly a car wheeled to the near-by curb with a shriek of its brakes, and two young men sprang out, one of them bearing a camera, "This must be it," said the first young man to the other. "It's them all right," said the second young man."

Mrs. Evans: "What is going on here class?"

Alaina: "It's the paparazzi!"

Mrs. Evans: "Well... yes....but I think they are just reporters...."

Zumba

2009-08-31T11:35:00.000-07:00

About six weeks ago, my best-est friend Lauren talked me into taking this dance/exercise class. I should back up here and say that for the record, I refused to go the first time. And yes I made her go alone... she is the brave and adventurous one in this relationship. Well she loved it... and I didn't want to be left out!

So I put on my tennis shoes that I own for the sole purpose of visiting the happiest place on earth, and nervously got in her van and committed to an hour of Zumba. Now I had watched a u-tube video of Zumba and was convinced that I was going to die from either embarrassment at my lack of coordination or cardiac arrest. As it turns out, it's not possible to die from embarrassment and I wasn't in as bad a shape as I thought. I have survived 6 weeks of Zumba and I love it. We have been going twice a week nearly every week and just did a 3 hour Super Zumba class on Saturday.

The girls went to Zumba with me this weekend and they seemed to enjoy it. I have been talking with them about how sometimes it is hard to try new things...and its even harder to try new things when you know you aren't particularly good at them.

And while I am still not good at Zumba.... I am enjoying it. God is teaching me that there are many things we need to do for the fruit they produce and not for the pleasure of doing them. Zumba has great fruit- my hip hasn't hurt in weeks, I am loosing weight, controlling my blood sugar, making friends outside my Christian bubble, and setting a good example for my girls.

Life Lessons from Children's Movies

2009-08-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

We spent our Saturday evening having breakfast for dinner at IHOP and then raced over to the dollar cinema to catch UP on the big screen. It is no secret that we are big Disney fans and I think I enjoyed the movie even more the second time around. The first time we saw UP it was in 3-d and I think the amazing visual effects distracted me from the story.

I left the theater thinking about the adventure our family is on and how I am marking the journey. While I love to photograph my kids, I am not very good at capturing the little moments. I am too concerned with technique and beautiful images. I am also not good at being photographed... So I left with a burden to capture moments and allow others to capture me in those moments.

As I was cleaning out my inbox I came across this moment captured by a friend with her camera phone. Even though our lives are tightly intertwined , I think this is the only picture that exists of the four of us. This was a sweet night, under the stars at a concert, celebrating Steve's birthday. These are friends that belong in our adventure book.

We love you, we pray for you , we celebrate with you, and hurt for you. Thanks for being our dinner-for-breakfast friends, talk-everyday friends, piled-on-the-couch-for-a-movie friends, dinner-at-the-beach friends, and our sharing-the-adventure -friends.

The saga continues....lunch boxes

2009-08-25T09:22:00.001-07:00

Update: They are amazing! We love the new lunch boxes. And not that it matters, but they were very popular at school.

So I have still not ordered lunch boxes mostly because I hate ordering things sight unseen. Then I spotted some lovely lunch boxes at Sun Harvest and they really fit the bill. They even include a water bottle. They are made from nothing that increases my children's risk of developing cancer or lead poisoning. We get to be good stewards of our money by not buying individually packaged junk and good stewards of God's creation by not throwing away all the wrappers from the over priced junk food.

Why do I need a lunch box with little containers? My children stand to inherit diseases that can be completely prevented with good nutrition and healthy lifestyles. While I want to be a good mother that serves her children cut up fruit, veggies and whole grains, I know without little containers calling out for fresh foods I would probably send a bologna sandwich and bag of chips. (Okay my kids have never had bologna but I would be tempted!) It's lunchbox accountability.

The Boy

2009-08-20T16:05:00.001-07:00

Update: He did fabulous! He said it was boring but I think that was just first day business.

In a few days our boy, Elisha Gregory, will begin pre-k....and it won't be in the room next door to Mommy's class. We have always said that we would make educational choices for each child, knowing that God made them each very different and they would learn in different ways. This is where the rubber meets the road, and the road is very hard.

Elisha is all-boy and one of the most physically active kiddos I have ever loved. And although he is very intelligent, he is not interested in learning things he considers useless like colors and numbers. Neither of the girls had a formal preschool education but managed to learn many basics through play and a rich environment. Elisha is content to watch tv and play Wii all day.

And because Mommy is teaching full time now, we are hoping three hours in a great classroom might motivate him a bit....or at least he will learn some things through osmosis.

I know he is going to do great. I know he is going to love his teacher. I know the three hours a day he spends there are going to nurture him and help him grow. I know she is going to sing, and read, and color with him. I expected to be a little sad that it will be someone else doing those things. I am not...

I know that God has me exactly where He wants me and I know that the children in my class are there by God's plan for their lives. I know that God prepared my heart for my students and He molds me into the teacher that they need ....and I am choosing to believe that God will do the same for our boy.

Two Dresses

2009-08-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Alaina and Jayden are growing up faster then we can imagine. We love the young ladies they are becoming. My brother got married last night and new dresses were to be had for the occasion. When we went shopping, I was so surprised that they both had the same dress in the to "to-try-on-pile". As they get older, it is an exercise in restraint to bite my tongue a little more often and let them decide somethings for themselves. I desperately wanted them to get the matching dresses but let then make that decision on their own. You see, I know the days of matching outfits are quickly ending....

These girls are so different and if there was ever a doubt that they were designed by a creator God, you would only need to spend a day with them to see His workmanship. It is amazing to me that you can combine the exact DNA and yet come out with two different people.

Alaina is our tenderhearted, compassionate child. Her middle name is grace and she is pure undeserved favor. She is the peace-maker in our family. She will be an amazing mother. She is an incredible help with her baby brother and sister. Alaina is so intelligent and a gifted reader and writer. Her vocabulary and insight make me smile to myself so many times. Alaina has a beautiful tenor voice and a love for music. Even though she is as tall as my shoulders and I can wear her shoes, she still never hesitates to crawl into my lap. She always has a kiss waiting for me and is quick to slip her hand into mine....

Jayden is our pressed down, shaken together, running over blessing. She is full of wit and always has something to say. She is our entreprenuer and the most organized child in our family. She has a great sense of fashion and carries herself with an incredible sense of grace and purpose. Jayden is independent and full of purpose. We have no doubt that whatever she set her mind to, she will accomplish. What a blessing she is going to be to her world...

While I love who they are individually, I pray for who they are as sisters. I pray that they will know what are a rare and precious gift a sister who is close enough to call a friend is.

Things I love....

2009-08-12T18:48:00.001-07:00

Sighing contently tonight. Thinking about things I love, small pleasures that God has blessed my week with.

Jalapeno cheddar cream cheese on mini-bagels
Zumba- okay I don't love Zumba but I love the time with my girlfriend, the stress relief, and all the calorie burning.
Unexpected time alone with J- And sneaking off to Wing Stop for dinner together
Anticipation of a new school year and a classroom ready for kiddos
Bookstores -I have been to the bookstore twice this week to get books for my class
The blessing of good friends - In less then a week we have had dinner on the beach with friends, played dominoes late into the night, celebrated our favorite eight year old boy's birthday, and today I had lunch with a sweet friend who is newly expecting
Book Club "Dog Eared and Dangerous"- It's very exclusive because we have yet to meet anyone else who will devour a book in two days, text rapidly as reading, and shirk all adult responsibilities all in the name of "the book".

So Conflicted- Lunch Boxes

2009-08-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

So I have been coveting these lunchboxes for my kiddos for several years. And last year I tried to appease my self with these from tupperware:

Just not the same thing.... so I am ready to bite the bullet and order and THEY HAVE A 2.0 now! Why am I not celebrating? Because now I have to choose between the original and the new. I have been drooling over these for two years.

And now they have these.
These are a bit larger, come with a lid for the dip container, and have these additional containers you can change out for more flexibility. The problem...they aren't as cute.

On missing Alaina

2009-08-09T03:53:00.000-07:00

It is not quite 4 am and I can't sleep. I am missing Laina. She has spent many nights away from home with her grandparents or with family friends. But this is the first night she has spent away with her friends. And I miss her.

She is growing up way too fast. She is more then I can imagine at 8.

So mostly I have been lying in bed, listening to the ceiling fan, praying for her. Praying for her safety, of course but mostly that she would always know how much I love her, and that God loves her more. I have been praying that she would know the blessing of friendship and that she would choose her friends wisely. Praying that her life would be blessed with the kind of friendships that teach her, comfort her, care for her, nurture her, and let her be who she is.

And on the note of friendship.... my friend Lauren..... who teaches me, comforts me, cares for me, nurtures me, makes me go to Zumba, makes me laugh everyday and lets me be who I am..... has started a blog.

The Church

2009-08-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

(So I realize that I ignore this for weeks and then can't keep my hands off it- blame it on the the blogging muse. I often think I have nothing to say and then once I get started, I can't shut up...)

I hate when people post about something difficult or challenging and then never go back and say how it turned out. So since I know there are tens of you on the edge of your seat about how we are adjusting... here it is.

We love it. It's a strange sensation to have a church choose you and not really be able "pick" your church home. Don't get me wrong we were entirely able to turn down the opportunity and have done that before. The truth of the matter is that if we were church shopping, this is one we probably would have browsed through and not commit to buy anything. Its large and the summer attendance over the summer has averaged 2,000. That may be small potatoes to some of you, but if you combined the average attendance of all the churches we have ever worked for- it wouldn't be 2,000.

And no one wears name tags. I often thought that the name tag wearing was a crutch at Oso Creek and that we were never forced to learn anyone's name because it was proudly displayed on their shirt. It turns out it was a huge crutch for me and it's hard to get over. I know like 15 people's names. As selfish as it may be, I feel like no one can possible know my name without my name tag.

It would be a lie to say that things have gone without a hitch, and without tears shed by me, and some very lonely moments as my husband is hidden entirely in a green room back stage. But somehow this last two weeks, God removed all of that for me and has called it home. I know that He has worked through the powerful teaching, my children's comfort, my husband's enthusiasm and most certainly my own RealLIFE t-shirt. He has worked through a life group that brought about familiar faces, more time spent in the building, and perhaps my own surrender.

In corporate worship, I need the buzz of a crowd and the intimacy of friends.....I think I got there this weekend.

It's surreal to commit to a church and not have a clear picture why... and for God to whisper in your ear: this is why I brought you here, and this....

Our first official weekend at RealLife, I drove to the beach alone with the children. Lost as to where the obscure whereabouts of the baptism location could be, I cried as I called Jason about 75 times. He wasn't answering his phone. Something about working and wind.... Frustrated and mad when I finally arrived, I trudged down the beach where over a hundred people were baptized. It was incredible! And I knew then that even if there were a gagillion people that refused to wear nametags, I wanted to be part of something this incredible for His glory.

Summer's End

2009-08-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

With just a week and a half till school starts, we are squeezing out the last drops of summer. Those of you that are from South Texas, know that it will continue to feel like summer for the next three months. After all we only have three seasons here- hot, hotter, and Christmas. Soon though, hotter will be over and it will just be hot!

This summer we went on this incredible adventure called Summer Camp. Mommy decided a good way to spend the summer would be to volunteer to spend 8 weeks with numerous children in my classroom. While I felt a bit peaked towards the end of July, it was truly the right decision. As I have been off for a week and am missing my job completely. Not my summer camp job, but my real gig- teaching! My classroom is pretty much ready and I am thrilled to get started.

The kids, mine and at least 4-5 others each day, traipsed through our town and enjoyed our city thouroghly.We visited:

the aquarium
the beach (the national seashore has a very intresting beach walk)
the pool
the movies
the captain clark flagship
bowling alley
asian cultures museum
glow in the dark mini-golf
the water park
the science museum
went horseback riding
shopped at HEB
we have baked bread, made egg-rolls, glued, and painted for hours
and probably some other places I am too exhauseted to recall

Its been a good summer.... and we still have a few days left. On the menu for tonight- dinner at the beach!

4th of July!

2009-07-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Being big fans of picnics and fire works, the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays! Our 4th tradition includes a picnic at the aquarium. It is the best spot in town to view the fireworks and usually a blast. It's a day we spend with our closest friends and something we look forward to. This year Lauren and Steve joined us. (Its still amazes me that a year ago we hardly knew them and yet we can't imagine our life without them now. )

This year started out like all others. Danielle and I made monster cookies early in the morning and had planned a simple menu of takeout....pizza rolls and wings.

We spent the day laying around anticipating the fun. We have worked out a fabulous system that involves the men guarding the spot while the women take the children to the playground. After the kids have played to their hearts content, the women enjoy the well staked out spot and he daddy s take the kids upstairs to the aquarium. It's this really relaxed time of food, and friends as close as family, and anticipation....

So we are line to get in and completley ready. Matching t-shirts are on, coolers being pulled behind us, husbands loaded down with lawn chairs and we are waiting for the moment that we can pick our spot. It is in that moment that I become deathly ill. We stil don't know if it was the heat, my blood sugar, food poisoning, or what...but I quickly bowed out of the festivities!

Sadly I missed the picnic but the kids had a great time and I am entirely greateful for the way my friends cared for my kiddos and husband. Six extra kids is not a small favor! And while J is a great daddy, crowds with a missing wife is not a favorite and I am not sure that he was in the best mood.

I have to say that God has taught me so much about friendship this year and blessed me beyond I could have imagined.

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

Alaina's Celebration!

2009-06-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

Our family tradition is that we begin everyone's birthday with breakfast in bed. It is one of the sweetest traditions we have created and one our kids treasure. Long before the actual day, the birthday child and their siblings plan and dream about the breakfast. It is something everyone pitches in for and even the usual sleepy heads crawl out of bed to be part of the celebration.

While pancakes is the traditional food of choice, Alaina opted for eggs and bacon. It took some creativity to secure the candle! We had to sing at a quick pace to keep the candle secure in her toast.

It was a special blessing for Alaina's birthday to fall on a Saturday. After breakfast we revealed Alaina's gift from us. After much though and consideration, we decided she was indeed ready for a pet. Alaina is an animal lover at heart and doesn't have many opportunities to interact with animals. He is one of the sweetest bunnies I ever ever seen.

After lunch we headed to the mall to shop for a new bathing suit. Alaina spent sometime in her favorite store, Justice. We found a really cute one piece bathing suit- not an easy feat! We sprung for cookies at the food court and spent sometime with my mom at the mall.

After our shopping trip, Alaina got her hair done.....notice the difference between the breakfast pictures and the rest. She desperately wanted to grow out her hair but it is just not an option yet. I always want to let my kids be who they are--- but seriously the hair had to go. She has the thickest hair I have ever seen and it is the texture of curly hair. Except it doesn't curl- it rats and tangles. The longer hair made for many teary mornings and threats form Daddy to shave it all off. It was time for me to override her wishes and bestow some motherly wisdom upon her hair. She likes it now that it is over and enjoys the ease in which she can now brush it.

Right before dinner two of her girlfriends came over. After she showed off her bunny, we headed to Granna and Pappy's for pizza and swimming. After they swam to their hearts content, we made a giant pa let on the floor and they watched movies. By midnight everyone was asleep. It was our quietest sleeepover yet!

It was a sweet birthday for our girl. As they get older, their parties seem to be less about what beautiful, extravagant thing mama can pull off and more about letting them lead. I am already coaching myself for their weddings!

An 8 year old girl

2009-06-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Alaina has turned eight. In many ways it seems the the time has passed in a blink of an eye and yet at the same time it seems that she has existed forever. It is hard to remember life with out her.

I remember journaling when Alaina was a just a few weeks old that she seemed to good to be true. I remember feeling like at any moment the rug was going to be pulled out and this precious baby would simply vanish. Blame it on the hormones or the 15 month long journey to conceive her, but I have never stopped feeling completely blessed and overwhelmed to have this baby as my own.

Our journey to have her was not an easy road. I am mindful that many women try for far longer and harder to have a baby then we had to but it was life changing for me. For women in my family, a baby was not something you tried for, it was never a goal. I feel like I can make an educated guess that quite the opposite was true. A baby was something that happened to you and was at least initially met with some regret. So the idea that I couldn't just get pregnant was out of my realm of possibility.

We had been married for almost a year when we found that we were indeed expecting. We told our family within days and began to make plans. We would never hold that baby in our arms. At 10 weeks, I miscarried.

Six months later, I was pregnant again. We told no one. It was lonely and heart wrenching. I wanted to have hope but fearful of creating unnecessary pain. At eight weeks along we told our families, but the news was met with caution and their own attempts to guard their hearts. The most beautiful sound I ever heard was on that Christmas Eve. We went in for a quick trip to the doctor to try for a heart beat. We were the last patients of the day. The doctor moved the doppler across my belly and there it was..... a heart beat! Laughter poured from me and made it difficult to keep the doppler steady but the joy was contagious and everyone in the room joined in.

After holding our breath for the next six months, Alaina was born healthy and welcomed into our arms. The last eight years have been an incredible blessing. While my love for her as a mother in undeniable, I like the person she is. She is funny, intelligent, caring, and beautiful. She is the best parts of me and Jason and truly her own person. We are very proud of her and the young lady she is becoming.

New Church

2009-06-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

Jason has accepted a new position in the media dept at a new church. We are excited about the move because of all the doors it will open for J. He will get to be part of a team that is using cutting edge technology. It is a multi-site church and that means he will be working on something he is passionate about. J. loves helping churches get set up to utilize technology to teach the Gospel. It's a fast paced environment where he can really contribute and learn.

I visited on my own and then with him. Then he started working Sunday mornings there last week. All the details of his position aren't quite worked out and he is in the figuring out where his skill set can be used the most. So I have attended twice now while he works the back and that is a big adjustment.

The kids love it- its a good fit for our family.We know that God has called our family there. The teaching is encouraging and already I feel like it is already impacting my spiritual life. The worship music is good, but shorter then I am used to.

I am struggling a bit with dealing with the kids and getting there on my own. It is much larger and a struggle to get all the kids checked in and to their rooms. I can't quite spend any time meeting people or exploring because I am busy willing the children to look and act like cherubs. I miss Jason being accessible and having people around I can hand off the baby to. I miss the kids understanding the boundaries and knowing their way around. I can't quite figure out how to jump into the life of the church. We are used to our daily life being so intertwined with church life that it feels off kilter to not. This is the biggest church we have ever attended and while we "know" a few people there, it is still a struggle to find a niche. I know that we haven't been there very long and time will make a difference.

Its kind of the opposite of our move to Oso Creek. I desired to be anonymous for awhile but quickly found myself connected in meaningful ways and within a few months serving in a major leadership role. Jason took much lomger to connect simple because he was working out of town and only got the Sunday experience. Based on the circumstances of this month - a new church, my closest friend being gone or occupied for the month, moving into a solo role at work - that God is drawing me to Him, teaching me to rely on Him to meet some of those needs I was letting others meet.

Goings on

2009-06-08T13:27:00.001-07:00

It has been a busy few weeks! Here is a bullet blog to catch you up.... and some pictures to prove its true!

Summer camp has begun! I spend 10-11 hours a day with kids I really love and get paid to do it! My kiddos are loving in and a few hours at the pool, the movies, doing crafts, and reading great books is my kind of fun....

The girls are fascinated with clap games. You know these games- the kind that dissolve into a fit of giggles. Kaya evens goes around singing "Peeeeekk aaaaachuuuuu- going up, going down". It's hard to resist myself.

Kaya has developed a fascination-read obsession- with putting socks on her hands. I have never seen her madder then when I removed them for bed one night. Someone buy the kids some mittens! no picture yet

Bowling- not a spectator sport! The kids bowled at my sis-in-laws birthday the other night. Really boring to watch.... but love this shot of Elisha.

My girlfriend and I treated ourselves to pedicures and dinner out last weekend and it was very, very, very nice. There is nothing like perfectly polished toes to make me cheery....and nothing better then spending a few hours with someone who listens when you talk!

Alaina wil be eight on Saturday! I know that I will always have a special bond with Lainey, afterall she is the child who made me a mother. In many ways her birthday is my birthday- the day I became a mother-one of the most amazing days of my life! Celebration details are still fuzzy.

The Kindergrad- Jayden

2009-05-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

It's official! Jayden has graduated Kindergarten. In some was it seems absurd that she was only in kinder- those of you that know her well will understand. In other ways it seems crazy that half of my children are elementary students. I am thrilled that she will be in my class this coming year. It seems alittle too good to be true that I get paid to teach my own children. I know it will be a sweet year to have both girls in my class!

The Cake

2009-05-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

We officially celebrated Kaya's birthday this afternoon with a little family celebration. She was a doll- in a slightly spoiled-princess of the world-kind of way! Since meeting Cinderella in Disney World over spring break, Kaya has become an official princess fan. (If you click on the picture you can see the picture of her with Cinderella in the castle) I don't remember the other children being able to communicate a preference in the party planning at this age. She on the other hand let me know exactly what she wanted!
This afternoon I took her to pick up her cake and she was CRAZY about it! I opened the box so that she could get a good look at the cake, and she promptly yelled "ella" and plucked the Cinderella statue right off the cake. I wrestled it back and managed to repair the cake despite her protests. The bakery employee looked at me like I had two heads and I could tell he was expecting me to ask him to make the cake whole again. Once he realized I wasn't going to demand he be responsible for the damages, he politely asked "Is she turning two?". I smiled sweetly back. Meanwhile Kaya was protesting loudly against any of her sibling's fingers coming close to the basket. You see once said cake was deposited into the cart, nobody was allowed to even hover close to the basket. Everyone doing their Sunday afternoon shopping was well aware that "MY CAKE" was in the basket.

Since we had two hours till the party began, Kaya kept a close eye on that cake and quickly reminded anybody within feet that it was hers...for her pauuuttyyy. She was slightly proud! There were moments when we began to wonder if we should make alternate dessert plans for the rest of us- but we were all granted a piece.....or two!

Happy Birthday Kaya!

2009-05-29T16:45:00.001-07:00

Our baby is two! There is something about a child turning two- it seems babyhood is gone. We have truly seen her blossom into a little girl over the last few months.

This is the end of a season for our family. It is a little bittersweet to know that I will never cradle another baby in my arms and introduce myself as her mommy. I have enjoyed and treasured all four children as babies. I feel like I was mindful of how quickly their babyhood would pass and spent enough time gazing into their eyes while they nursed, slept with their little bellies pressed against my own, and never worried about holding them too much. I think we loved having babies so much that we can move on knowing we have loved them well and treasured it up in our hearts. We have some regret that Kaya will never be a big sister, but surely one child must be the baby!

Kaya is talking in full sentences and potty training. I took her shopping this week so she could pick out her own gift. She ended up with a beautiful petti-coat and a little dog you pull behind behind- the pink variety of course. Already she loves lip gloss and having painted toe nails. She is all little girl. This morning, she came to my bedside and I told her how pretty she was. Upon hearing the word "pretty" she quickly glanced down to notice someone had removed her petti-coat. "My tu-tu! Where is my tu-tu?" she cried running out of my room. Daddy came to the rescue and returned the gift that had been snatched while she slept . She went on with her day- "tu-tu" intact.

Her full head of blonde hair and strong legs that carry her quickly through out her day are such a contrast to the baby pictured in her birth announcement. The picture was taken at about 10 days old in the nicu. While I have created many beautiful naked baby pictures for clients, that was not a luxury the NICU afforded. The hospital-issued shirt creatively covered the wires and iv and her hand discreetly hid her feeding tube. While the picture was not what I had planned when she was hidden in my belly, it is an image I will always treasure. In a sea of nameless babies, she became a little girl.... she became Kaya Faith instead of baby Evans. At two, she eats like a horse and rattles off amazing things. We worry none about how her early arrival has affected her.

I love to blog....

2009-05-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

I really love to blog, I do! I somehow let it go too long and then have no idea how to go back and fill in the gaps. So I, Amanda, mommy to four, wife, teacher & friend, forgive myself and therefore declare blog bankruptcy. I have given myself a fresh start. I couldn't bring myself to delete the old posts....too much history... too many babies have become children...

I updated the banner to reflect the 18 months I have neglected this.... all to a start fresh!

A.

4 P's- A Pumpkin, a pirate, and princess, and a pop star

2007-11-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

Pumpkin Patch

2007-10-26T12:52:00.001-07:00

This year we visited the pumpkin patch with our homeschool group. I prepared some simple math activities. Lots of measuring, counting, guessing, and weighing. Alaina and Jayden both enjoyed working in a group. (Not something we get to do very often).

We enjoyed a story and picked out a few pumpkins.

We also did a science experiment. Did you know that pumpkins, squash, eggplants, bananas, and apples all float?

Christopher Columbus Week

2007-10-26T12:48:00.001-07:00

We spent a few days learning about Columbus and his voyages. We are privileged that our city received 3 replica ships as a gift from Spain.

We toured two of the ship and learned a lot about sea life.

Alaina got to experiment with several simple machines as well. We were amazed at how small they were an dhow many men they carried. Makes you very grateful for the life we live.

The Science and History Museum

2007-10-26T11:55:00.000-07:00

I learned this amazing lesson at the children's wharf in the museum. When we first arrived they scurry from thing to thing, unable to engage. Even though we have been there many times, they have to do this dance every time.

Next comes boredom.... they have absorbed everything they can grasp at their current pace. "What can we do Mommy? I am bored!".

If I let them alone and don't try to entertain them a new stage emerges.

DEEP IMAGINATIVE PLAY

Suddenly I am outsider to their world. Complex lives now exist as the part become of the fantasy they have emerged themselves in.

I wonder why kids have lost their ability to do this? Is it because our world is so flashy and most children never have the chance to move from boredom to opportunity? Is it because as adults we are so worried about providing enriched environments that we forget to give them space to be kids? Have we given up freedom for structure and lost everything it means to be children?

They need time, and space, and tools....to do their job...PLAY.

One of my callings to homeschool is to give them big chucks of time to play. Turning off the tv and staying out of their way is a hard task for me. Getting past the boredom stage can be painful. I just try to remember that they can't get this time back.

A day looks like....

2007-10-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

Just a few pictures from a regular old day.....

Alaina "doing" math

Jayden creating a mini-book of fall words

Table for 3

Bluebonnets

2007-10-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

Papa acquired bluebonnets seeds and we spent sometime spreading them next to the highway last weekend. Hopefully come spring you will see bluebonnets pictures in "our bluebonnet field".

Little Buckaroo Ranch

2007-10-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

Our fist unit study is based on the American Girl "Felicity". Felicity tames a wild horse and latter sets it free. In anticipation of our Felicity unit we headed to the little buckaroo ranch while we were in Austin. The kids met many animals and had the chance to groom and ride a horse.

Little Buckaroo Ranch is actually a miniature horse farm. The riding instruction was incredible. Cowgirl and Cowboy Don were very patient and kind with the children. We on;y wish they were closer and we could visit again soon.

The Bunny Trail

The Greatest Show on Earth!

2007-10-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

The Summer Reading program for the library offered Circus tickets as a reward. What a great treat! We took Meagan and Mariah along. The show was incredible!

The kids sat mesmorized for the full two hours. Bubba's favorite part was the dog act. Apparently he had bnever heard the acoompanying song. By the secind verse he was singing along at the top of his lungs. Our household now enjoys a delightful rendition of " Who let the dogs out- woof, woof".

Facination

Summer Sunsets

2007-10-03T11:47:00.000-07:00

One of the wonderful things about summer (and now homeschooling) is there are no bedtime worries. One of our favorite things to do is head down to the beach and watch the sunset and darkness come. The light is incredible that time of day!

We like to walk down the beach, collecting treasures, splashing in the waves, getting our exercise, enjoying the beauty of the sky. Elisha chases birds and we race one another in spurts to the half mile mark. Many nights we race the darkness back and I have to carry Bubba on my back.

Welcome!

2007-10-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Evans' family blog. Come along as I document the kid's days and celebrate their childhood.