On Jayden...

Jayden is funny, but not in the comedic sense...in the quirky, a bit nutty way. Jayden is intense and passionate. She has opinions about everything and does whatever it is she feels like it. Jayden never needs to permission or approval, she has an intense drive to do thing and she does them.

We are still trying to figure out how to mange such intense feelings and ambition. And I have no patience for it..... because she is just like me. So if you are reading this and know me well, see how well I hold it together despite my intense desire to be the queen of the world and my deep instinct that I know everything should be handled.

But today God spoke to me about Jayden. She is my barometer. She is the child who falls asleep at random places when I have forgotten that children need rest. She is the child who reminds me of every promise I have ever made. She is the child who makes sure sure I understand that they are not the kids, but Jayden, Alaina, Elisha and Kaya... unique people designed differently.

Jayden is not naturally gifted at spelling. Alaina is. Jayden has never had a spelling test prior to this school year. I have never had to help a child of mine with spelling homework. Alaina just knows how to spell things. Last week after a minor panic attack during a pre-test, I promised Jayden I would help her more at home. She very clearly and quickly responed. "No you won't. You'll promise but you never help me".

Uggghhhh! She was right. I intended to help her but this is new to me. And in my defense never equals the last two weeks but still- I never have helped at home enough.

My barometer.

I am blessed to work for a church. This week is camp meeting week. That means preachers come from across the country and do two services a day. I take my class to the morning service. The preacher this morning spoke into my heart about her daughter.

First she talked about destiny. Even though I was a-know-it-all-bossy child, my friends don't seem to mind. I am often called wise and while that seems odd to me, I know it is one of my spiritual gifts. People ask me all the time what to say in a given situation. So I am trying to see Jayden in that light. Her spiritual gift is wisdom. She needs to learn when to give it out and the tone of voice to use- but she is wise. I need to stop telling her to be quiet, listen to the words she is saying, and teach her about tone of voice.

And the second thing she talked about her daughter is how as an adult, her daughter speaks truth to her that no one else will say. God gave her daughter to her to keep her from killing people with her zest and passion...to speak truth into her even when it is hard, when everyone else is tiptoeing around her.

That is Jayden.